At times it is all too easy to be led by your heart, hoping that the happiness you gain will offset the unhappiness of others. On the other hand, the unhappiness you may cause to others could easily put a dark cloud over your own feelings, not just for the immediate future, but for eternity.
In the end, the final decision may not even be in the individuals own hands, making it doubly difficult. We are all keen to having our destiny under our own control, so relinquishing it to someone else just adds to the feelings of angst.
My gut feeling, and my Buddhist teaching tell me that, in general, we should sacrifice our own feelings so that others do not have to, but time will tell how it is resolved.
Mulling it all over and over in my mind, knowing that whichever way things turn out, we will never know whether it was for the best, reminded me of the poem by Robert Frost.
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost (1874-1963)