Just Bite Your Tongue

Just Bite Your TongueSome situations in life just get stuck, they just refuse to offer a resolution, be that through indecision, lack of control or reluctance to move on.

Having the patience, with a person or situation, to see things through to their conclusion takes Wisdom, Courage and Compassion for the following reasons:

The Wisdom to see that the desired path is both achievable and may lead to the correct outcome.

The Courage to stick to the path, despite setbacks or obstacles.

The Compassion to see things from another’s viewpoint, whether it agrees with your viewpoint or not.

One big problem with being patient, is that you never know what the outcome will be until it’s happened.

Buddhahood Included

Buddhahood IncludedSo often, and I am as guilty as anyone, we want everything to happen now.

Our modern frantic way of life, clever marketing and the advertising bombardment we all endure, have left us all lacking a little patience.

We are encouraged to spend before we can afford it and to make unrealistic demands on ourselves and others.

So next time you are stuck behind the nervous learner driver at a busy junction, queuing at the check-in desk or tempted to have a go at that overworked shop assistant, just see things from the others viewpoint and stay cool, calm and collected.

Not only will it make your wait much more pleasant, but your calmness will transmit to those around you and help them relax too. They may even surprise you by being grateful or by going the extra mile to help.

Remember, everyone has a little Buddhahood within them, help them to let it shine through.

Another Year

Balloons For Another YearYet again,  today is the anniversary of my blog, and there’s been a post of some description each and every day.

As it says in the About it is the story of my path to enlightenment, but it also logs the past four years highs and lows of life.

I would like to think that you can see the progress, gradual though it may be, that I have made since last September.

It’s a fascinating journey as many of you know, and everyone’s is different. I would really like to thank all the people who have left comments on here or on Facebook or Twitter, they are all greatly appreciated and very often show that we are all learning as we go along.

When I wrote the first post, I was determined to keep it up. Whilst I cannot, hand on heart, say that there haven’t been days when I’ve though ‘Oh bum, it’s late, I’m tired and I still haven’t written today’s post’ but I have always made the effort.

As with my practice, it’s the routine of it that makes the difference. It’s the discipline needed to keep going that adds to the progress through the practice, so when you feel like giving up on something, don’t !!!

Barring fire, pestilence or flood, I’ll still be here, blogging away this time next year, and I hope that you are all still reading the posts too.

Walking In Another Person’s Shoes

Another Person's ShoesThere is an old saying, that before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you have a pair of their shoes, and you are a mile away 🙂

But seriously, it is easy to see the faults in another when you are only seeing things from your point of view.

There is a wise Buddhist saying that says ‘we hate in others, what we refuse to see in ourselves’. Before you start picking on someone for their faults, make sure that you don’t have the same faults yourself.

Seeing the other persons viewpoint takes wisdom, courage and compassion, particularly in the heat of the moment. But taking a few seconds to allow yourself to become mindful, and then trying to reach a balanced view will do no harm, and may help resolve the issue once and for all.

On What Ifs

What If?Sometimes, we find ourselves in situations, or potential situations, were we are a little unsure of what the outcome may be.

Our minds race, we mull over the possibilities, the what ifs, the maybes, and it can be all too easy to form ideas in our minds as to how things will pan out.

That’s fine, and perfectly normal, as long as we don’t let these expectations run away with us. Having a notional or preconceived idea is one thing, but pinning our hopes on that idea is a recipe for disaster. Things rarely, if ever, go exactly as we imagine.

So the trick is to keep a level head, let events unfold as they will, and be tolerant of the inevitable differences between what we expect, or would like, and what actually comes to pass.

But as someone once said ‘Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it’. Conversely it has also been said that ‘That thing you wished for, the thing you never got, might have been the most fortunate moment you could ever imagine’.

So muse away, daydream to your hearts content, but remember that at the end of the day, the truth of the situation will become clear soon enough.

On The Theme Of Waiting …

WaitingWaiting is a strange thing.

Waiting for the lights to go green can take ages when you are late for an appointment. Waiting for a sapling to mature takes years. Waiting for your girlfriend to finish in the bathroom can take forever (don’t tell her I said that).

But actually, waiting is often an act of faith, a belief in a desired outcome, and reaching that desired outcome, that’s when it can usually be said that ‘it was worth the wait’.

Others, as you might expect, have described the process far more eloquently than I ever could …

Tout vient à qui sait attendre

‘Ah, all things come to those who wait,’
(I say these words to make me glad),
But something answers soft and sad,
‘They come, but often come too late.’

~ Violet Fane (1843-1905)

The Waiting

Oh baby don’t it feel like heaven right now
Don’t it feel like something from a dream
Yeah I’ve never known nothing quite like this
Don’t it feel like tonight might never be again
We know better than to try and pretend
Baby no one could’a ever told me ’bout this
I said yeah yeah

The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part

Well yeah i might have chased a couple women around
All it ever got me was down
Then there were those that made me feel good
But never as good as I’m feeling right now
Baby you’re the only one that’s ever known how
To make me wanna live like I wanna live now
I said yeah yeah

The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you get one more yard
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part

Oh don’t let it kill you baby, don’t let it get to you
Don’t let it kill you baby, don’t let it get to you
I’ll be your bleedin’ heart, I’ll be your cryin’ fool
Don’t let this go too far
Don’t let it get to you

~ Tom Petty – 1981

Interestingly, Tom Petty had this to say about the song …

“That was a song that took a long time to write. Roger McGuinn swears he told me the line – about the waiting being the hardest part – but I think I got the idea from something Janis Joplin said on television. I had the chorus very quickly, but I had a very difficult time piecing together the rest of the song. It’s about waiting for your dreams and not knowing if they will come true. I’ve always felt it was an optimistic song.”

So what ever you are waiting for, make causes, remain determined, and you will reach your goal one day.

Worth The Wait

Life's Ups and DownsLife is a rollercoaster at the best of times, so the ups and downs shouldn’t be a surprise.

But just like a real rollercoaster, they can still make you scream at times.

When I am looking for answers, or need to know the path I need to take, I chant, as you might suspect.

Often the answers come quite quickly, but sometimes things are complicated, or when another person is involved, the answers sometimes take longer.

The important thing to remember, is that only you can provide the answers to your own questions, no one else can decide for you.

Only your heart holds the key to unlock the path you must take, only Nam Myoho Renge Kyo can turn that key and you can be sure it will be worth the wait.

Just Keep Giving

Just Keep GivingThe people who are closest to us are the people we can hurt the most. With the best will in the world and often with the very best intentions, a wrong word or deed can sometimes cause them a whole world of pain.

Being responsible for supporting someone is a full time role, there’s no time off, no period during which one can let things slide. So when a conversation suddenly goes awry because of a thoughtless comment or reaction, the disappointment can be felt by both sides.

The result is like someone who is distracted whilst trying to push a boulder uphill. They have worked tirelessly to get it higher and higher up the hill. But the instant they relax their effort, or take their eye off the ball, the boulder starts back down to the bottom again.

In the same way, the trust and relationship you have been so careful to nurture can suddenly evaporate and you can find yourself back where you were. Not only is that disappointing, but it’s quite possible that the damage caused could change things forever.

So be mindful. If you are in a position where your support is important, be aware of the responsibility it entails. Be self-aware, show determination, compassion and resilience and be prepared to keep on giving, no matter what the circumstances.

And Breathe

And BreatheHaving the patience, with a person or situation, to see things through to a conclusion takes Wisdom, Courage and Compassion.

The Wisdom to see that the desired path is both achievable and the correct outcome.

The Courage to stick to your path, despite setbacks or obstacles.

The Compassion to see things from all viewpoints, whether they agree with yours or not.

One big problem with being patient, is that you never know what the outcome will be until it’s happened. In the meantime, simply remember to breathe

How many times must I struggle with this challenge? Only time will tell.

Patience My Lad, Patience

Patience My Lad, PatienceIt is said that patience is a virtue, and indeed that is a fact.

Having patience with a situation can make the difference between causing, or solving problems.

When you are just about to run out of patience you should take a deep breath and carry on being understanding.

Sometimes when our patience runs out, it is because we don’t have the full picture. Having a partial understanding of a situation leads us all to try to fill in the missing parts from our imagination.

As anyone who has been to the dentist, and I guess that’s pretty much all of us, sitting in the waiting room, with the fear of what might be in store, is usually far worse than the reality when we finally sit in the chair.

So it is with most situations in life. So stop imagining problems that aren’t there, take that deep breath and find a little more patience. It will be worth it in the end.

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