The Search For Enlightenment

I’ve been on this diet since early August, and it’s been going really well. I’ve lost over two stone (13kgs) and I feel terrific, but it’s so easy to get back into bad habits and undo all the good work. Saturday was a perfect example. Being invited to the cafe for breakfast was going to be a treat, teacakes, coffee and all. But it’s all too easy to think, ‘well I’ve had this and that, so I might as well go for it’. Stupid and a big mistake.

Like most challenges in life, it’s far more difficult to stick to the goal than it is to ignore it and let your urges take over. Sadly the scales don’t lie, and I know it wasn’t the teacake that caused all the trouble. One way I have stayed on course is by not having temptations in the house. But Charlotte’s place was full of goodies. A half eaten birthday cake, a box of flapjacks, even a box of Dunkin’ doughnuts.

I managed to avoid most of them, but whether it was because I was tired I don’t know, but I just felt hungry, and gave in to temptation. A couple of crumpets with cheese, coffee with sugar and several Caramel and Crunchie mini bars later I was feeling better, but suitably miffed with myself.

I knew that things would have taken a backwards step when I weighed myself yesterday, but having ‘been good’ all day I was even more dismayed to find things were no better this morning either. So today has been a day for quiet contemplation and sticking strictly to my self imposed rules.

It’s so much easier, and pleasant, to put weight on than it is to get it off. But the hardest of all is to lose it, and then put it back on when you know that you let your fundamental darkness take control. Double the pain, knowing that there is a chink in your determination, and that it really wasn’t worth all the angst. So get thee hence Dark Passenger. My new cycling bits arrived today, so I’m going to put them to good use and burn all those stupid calories off again.