Unrealistic Expectations

07 May 2013 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , ,

Too Great ExpectationsWe all live with expectations, of ourselves, of others and of the outcome of situations in our lives, and it is all too easy to be disappointed when those expectations are not met.

However, you must remember, your happiness is in your own hands, so being unhappy when your expectations are dashed, is your own decision.

For myself, I find that taking some quiet time to examine why I am disappointed solves a lot of these problems. Sometimes my expectations are too high, unrealistic you might say, sometimes the simple acceptance that those expectations are not those of others explains the outcome.

Allowing your expectations of others to be, even in part, the basis of your happiness shows a certain lack of Wisdom, so learn from the pain, don’t repeat the mistake and move on.

So to help maintain your happiness, set realistic expectations for yourself and accept that failing to meet those expectations does not mean failing completely.

Flames Of Wisdom

03 May 2013 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , ,

Flames Of WisdomSo many of the ills in modern society are driven, if not caused, by our insatiable desire to earn, to own, to use, more and more.

Companies spend millions creating adverts to reach our deepest psyche and flick on the basest of urges, often I suspect, without us even realising the manipulation we are undergoing.

Aside from our own mental suffering, our cravings are having disastrous consequences in third world countries, the collapse of the clothing factory in Bangladesh being an indirect result of our need to ever cheaper garments.

Nichiren spoke of earthly desires being used as fuel for the flame of Wisdom.

Buddhism teaches the converting of personal ambitions and desires, even base ones, into good traits like Wisdom, through altruistic living. A Buddhist doctrine that earthly desires are enlightenment, indicates that greed, anger through violence, and egocentricity can be transformed into altruistic traits such as compassion, trust and nonviolence.

The underlying delusions that drive our desires, including the desire for the development of science and civilisations, can be essentially transformed in a way that changes selfishness into altruism, violence into nonviolence and suspicion into trust.

The Western exploitation of emerging countries, for cheap labour and materials, simply to satisfy an ever growing market is totally unsustainable and must change. Until we can stop enriching certain groups at the expense of others, and concentrate on enriching all people by our actions, there will never be a sustainable peace, economy or even happiness in the world.

Breaking The Karmic Cycle

21 Apr 2013 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , , , , ,

Breaking The Karmic CycleGoing back over our mistakes, asking ourselves painful questions and giving honest answers is a difficult, but enlightening experience.

We’ve all made mistakes in life, some more serious than others, but talking them through, trying to explain why you made this decision at that point in time, makes you re-examine your own values.

Our history is set in stone, we cannot go back and make those decisions anew. But we can try to make amends, apologise for any hurt we have caused, and, above all, be honest with ourselves and others.

We can also learn from mistakes, to do anything else would be considered foolish, but sometimes those mistakes are not as obvious as we might think. If you find yourself in a repeating cycle of events over time, it is definitely worth taking a long hard look at why that appears to be happening.

Karma, the law of cause and effect, will be behind the cycle somewhere, so we need to examine the causes and change them if we are to break the merry-go-round of sadness, and move onto pastures new.

Some people fear change, but if life is just not working the way we want it to, then we have to make changes. Embrace the opportunity to make life better, examine the causes that need to change and make those changes whole-heartedly, you will not regret it once the effects, and the happiness, start coming through.

Fix Your Anchor

20 Apr 2013 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , , ,

Fix Your AnchorDo you ever find yourself getting into a state over a situation that is mainly in your own head? If your world is not anchored by your faith and is dependant on factors outside your control, your imagination can run riot. Our Fundamental Darkness, or My Evil Friend, is a devious character and will use everything to get it’s way. Your imagination is one of it’s most powerful weapons.

This is how I was until I found Nichiren Buddhism, and it is a very precarious state in which to live. Each day can be up, or down, at the whim of something or someone else, and that’s no way to go through life, particularly if that something or someone cannot be relied upon. Everything, everyone changes over time, so basing your happiness on them is bound to fail, sooner or later.

Taking back control of your life is simple, it is a state of mind, a determination to re-centre, re-focus your life. That certainly doesn’t mean that you have to rid yourself of the something or someone, and it doesn’t mean that your relationship with them is any less important. It’s just that your life centres around something infinitely stable, and that can make all the difference in the world.

My anchor, my honzon is my practice, and I’m a better, calmer, more contented person for that. I am happier for that, and at the end of the day, isn’t that what we all seek from life, a little more happiness?

Inner Transformation

04 Apr 2013 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , ,

A Brilliant Inner PalaceThings such as money, fame, and material possessions may offer a degree of fleeting satisfaction, something that can be called relative happiness.

However, when we transform our lives internally, when we develop within ourselves a brilliant inner palace, then we can be said to have established absolute happiness.

If we develop a state of mind as vast and resplendent as a magnificent palace, then there is nothing – no matter where we go or what we may encounter in life – that can undermine or destroy our happiness.

~ Daisaku Ikeda

Wishful Thinking?

01 Apr 2013 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: ,

Be Careful What You Wish ForSo many of us wish for things we would like, or wish to be things we aren’t. Short people wish they were taller, plump people wish they were thin, people with straight hair wish it was curly, people with curly hair wish it was straight.

Of course we are all ‘trained’ to want things from an early age, it’s a product of the consumerist society, and we are all urged to be dissatisfied with what we have, in favour of what the ad men can tempt us into buying.

But surely this way of going about things is a recipe for a certain degree of unhappiness. There are bound to be things we cannot have, maybe because it’s a physical impossibility, being taller when you are short, curly haired when your own is straight. So maybe there is a better way to look at things.

How about concentrating on the good aspects of our lives? You only have to take a few moments to think about it, and you will find that there are dozens, if not hundreds of things you are happy to have.

Maybe it’s your partner, family and friends. Maybe it’s good health, a decent job or even just having enough. So rather than thinking about the things you would like to have, take time to celebrate the things you already have, that are so precious to you, and things you would not like to live without.

And remember, you should always be careful about what you wish for. As a wise man once said, ‘Don’t wish for the stars, after all, where would to keep them all?’

Capital Gains?

30 Mar 2013 1 Comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , ,

Money Can’t Buy Me LoveAs the Beatles song from the Sixties said, ‘I don’t care too much for money, money can’t buy me love. Sadly, in our capitalist western society, too many are driven and judged by the money they own, but at what cost?

Sensei was speaking of exactly this issue when he said …

Even if you are born into the most affluent of circumstances or enjoy a spectacular marriage that is the envy of others, there is no guarantee that you will be happy.

Happiness does not depend on wealth or personal appearance, nor does it hinge on fame or recognition. If your heart is empty, you cannot build genuine happiness.

There is an expansive life-state of profound, secure happiness that transcends any material or social advantage. It is called faith; it is called the life-state of Buddhahood.

Of course, money may allow a greater degree of choice in the decisions we take in life, but be assured, it cannot guarantee the happiness that the faith in Buddhahood provides.

Virtual Sunshine And Showers

15 Mar 2013 2 Comments

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Sunshine And ShowersIt is Friday, meaning that we have made it through another working week, with the emphasis strongly on the working bit. With the sword of Damocles still hanging over my head, it is a bit of a challenge to remain focussed, even though people keep telling me ‘You’ll be fine’. Sadly it’s not their decision, and the wait continues.

So it was a really nice surprise, when we had a visitor to the Ringwood office, a new guy who has been brought in to head up our ecommerce business unit, and it turned out that he’s only got one head, has worked for the likes of Amazon and Love Film, is very passionate about building the business and listens when people talk to him.

I really can see a positive light falling on the IT team. It felt like everyone has embraced the new energy and are buzzing with the enthusiasm our new leader has instilled. It remains to be seen where the line between the companies legacy ends, being established in 1856, and the adoption of new technologies begins. Philatelists are a funny bunch, in the nicest possible way, and it’s a fine line to be trodden.

The excitement is palpable and the way forward, for the team at least, is becoming clearer. The minor fly in the ointment, from my side of things, is that by this time next week, I may not be part of the team.

This is where my Buddhism kicks in, and in more ways than I had expected. My initial feeling is one of joy and excitement for the team. With second thoughts I see that their future may not be mine, but with that split comes a series of possibilities. I could see it as a potential crisis, but I am weighing up the balance between the danger and the opportunities and I see that the opportunities are winning hands down.

The way forward is to keep chanting, stay positive and wait to see what happens.

Nam Myoho Renge Kyo

At Long Last

04 Mar 2013 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , ,

Here Comes The SunAfter what seems to have been the longest winter, today really feels like spring. Not that it’s really that warm, about 9°C here in Poole, but the sun is just so beautiful it makes you want to smile.

Now sometimes, when you get a tune stuck in your head, it drives you a bit bonkers. Today I have this one stuck in mine, but it’s alright…

Here Comes The Sun

Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It’s all right

Little darling, it’s been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it’s been here
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It’s all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it’s been here
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It’s all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it’s been clear
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It’s all right

Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It’s all right
It’s all right

~ George Harrison 1969

And so the Wheel of Life continues to turn, before we know it, it will be the longest day.

A Certain Stillness

19 Feb 2013 4 Comments

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , , , , , ,

A Certain StillnessWell, what a strange sort of day. Last week, I received a letter warning that my role within the company was in danger of being made redundant, not the best news. Along with the legalese and waffle about changes to make the company more efficient, there was an invitation to meet and discuss the situation, when I would be able to put my point of view and highlight any details the company might have missed about my role.

I have to say that, despite the pressure of effectively fighting for my future within the company, I remained completely calm throughout the whole proceedings. I even cracked a couple of jokes along the way. I did however make good use of the time I had spent preparing for this battle.

Life is a series of cycles, we all know that, similar situations repeat themselves over time. People who profess to know everything about everything rarely prove that to be the case, and so it transpired this afternoon. Whilst I must admit that there was a hint of self-preservation about it, I felt it was my duty to point this out where appropriate.

So now we have another wait. A wait while the powers that be try to answer the tricky questions that were posed during the meeting, and try to justify their original decisions. The mind races, the dark passenger is having a field day, but I’m rather proud that, through it all, I maintained my dignity and a certain stillness. We shall see what transpires, in time.

Nam Myoho Renge Kyo

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