A Fond Farewell

29 Aug 2012 2 Comments

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , ,

LilyToday was Auntie Pat’s funeral at Westerleigh Crematorium. The family gathered in the pleasant, if a little damp surroundings, to say a fond farewell. Not being of any particular religious persuasion, her service was quite a happy affair.

After singing the hymn All Things Bright And Beautiful, we listened to her son Paul read an uplifting eulogy and then we all joined in for a rendition of Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life, certainly a first for me at any funeral.

Although the reason for the gathering was very sad, the nature of the service, and the gathering at The Folly Inn afterwards, could not have been described as sombre. Just, as everyone commented, how Auntie Pat would have wanted it to be.

Time Flies And Lands With A Bump

28 Aug 2012 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , , , , ,

Olympic ToysBeing up in Bristol a lot of the time now, gives me the chance to spend much more time with my grandsons, which is brilliant. This evening we went over to see Hannah and then on to see Charlotte, as it was my last chance to see either of them before their 5th and 10th wedding anniversaries respectively, this Friday.

Although I had seen Stanley, Jake and Zach fairly recently, they are all young enough to change almost day by day, so it was brilliant to catch up with their development. Stanley, currently an only child to Hannah and Jay, has always been a little character, with his own mind and attitude.

But he’s been going to pre-school for a while now and it was quite noticeable that his social skills are improving in leaps and bounds. He was much more outgoing than he was even a couple of weeks ago, and had Bumble and me playing hide and seek all round the house.

He’s also just had a new Spiderman bicycle, which he was proud to show off, riding around the lounge and kitchen diner. He a lovely little chap, and is all the more fun now he is talking with, and relating to other people so much more.

Round at Charlotte’s, Oliver, our one year old grandson, had already gone off to bed, but Jake and Zach were in fine form. Jake showed us his collection of McDonald’s Olympic Toys, one of which was a wheelchair athlete, which is great to see. Zach had a dinosaur toy with an opening mouth, which was good fun.

Sadly, the evening ended with Zach and I having a tearful, on his part, stand-off. He had given me his dinosaur whilst he played with Jake, but when he came over to take it back I asked him to say ‘please’. He refused, whereupon I refused to give him the toy. I cuddled him, whilst stopping him from taking the dinosaur, and asked him in a quiet voice, simply to say ‘please’ and that I would then let him have it.

In the end, the dinosaur was put onto a shelf, Zach went off to bed in tears and I felt terrible. Whilst I believe that manners and etiquette are important, I would never have put the two of us in the situation, had I know the outcome. Children must be taught the rights and wrongs of life, but I will be interested to see Zach’s attitude to his grumpy grandfather when I see him next.

A Proper British Bank Holiday

27 Aug 2012 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , , ,

M51They do say that there is no such thing as bad weather, just a bad choice of clothing. But I do think it is a bit sad, that on the last public holiday before Christmas, the heavens decide to open in such a biblical fashion.

After yesterday’s ‘Hedge-gate’ incident, the weather made any further progress impossible. Records show that today was the second wettest day of a very, very wet August, and I can believe that. The rain actually woke us this morning.

So an enforced rest day, not that resting is in Bumble’s vocabulary, so she had to do some ironing. I finished reading ‘The End Of The Affair” by Graham Greene, a rather sad, if thought provoking book, recommended by my friend Jason Michael of Homophilosophicus.

We also managed to fit in a bit of educational telly, Horizon on mapping the universe, a very interesting subject. Whilst I talk about us all being part of the universe, it is difficult to get a mental grip on the astronomical (literally) distances involved.

Without meaning to overstate the obvious, the universe is a really, really big place. However, it does have an end, or rather a spherical outer limit, so what is on the other side of that limit. Well the answer, as far as we know today, is a whole set of other universes.

If you ever wanted a good example to show you just how insignificant, in astronomical terms, the Earth really is, I think we have found one here.

A Mystery Solved

25 Aug 2012 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , ,

Mystery SolvedEver since Bumble and I have been going out, there has been this third party in the equation. Let’s be frank, his name was, and still is, Chris. Not that I am particularly prone to jealousy, but there was always something a bit ‘secret’ about his presence.

He is in a new relationship, and has been pretty much ever since they split up, but his new significant other is rather possessive and will not allow B and Chris to meet. Presumably because she is worried that he, or she, or they, might decide that they had made a mistake.

Bumble is allowed to pop round to collect her misdirected post, but only if Chris, and particularly his new lady are out. B has always been very open about all this, she can be painfully honest at times, but when the odd chance to meet Chris had occurred, I was left sitting in the car, and the mystery continued.

So imagine my surprise when, whilst pottering around the garden today, Chris turned up on his new Triumph motorbike, to deliver a rather important looking misdirected letter for Bumble. I guess that he might have expected us to be out, but finding us home, came in anyway.

But what of this mythical being? Well, pretty much as expected really, he is a really nice bloke. Bumble obviously has really good taste in men, the children’s father, Nigel, is a really nice bloke too. I have no idea what they think about me, but we seem to get on pretty well.

We sat and had a drink in the garden, had a nice chat about what was going on with him and with us. He said how sorry he was to hear about Ivor and hoped that all had gone well with the funeral. All very civilised. So the mystery, if ever there was one, is now solved, and life goes on as usual.

I guess, looking back, the real mystery is why I thought there was a mystery at all.

Personal Responsibility

22 Aug 2012 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , , , , ,

ResponsibilityIt’s Auntie Pat’s funeral next Wednesday, so the family will once again gather to say their farewells. Unfortunately, being the day after the day after the bank holiday is not ideal, but there are some things in life, and death, that are a higher priority than others.

Officially, I am not part of Pat’s family, so have not been granted compassionate leave in order to attend. However, I want to be there, to support Bumble as well as to pay respect to Pat and her immediate family.

Her children, their partners and children will be coming up from Cornwall for the service, so it is the least I can do, particularly after they made the effort to be at Ivor’s burial, at such short notice.

In the past, I am sorry to say, I have not taken my responsibilities as seriously as I might have. That, I am pleased to say, has all changed. So I will be there next week, come hell or high water, and will do the right thing by all concerned. Just another example of how my practice has contributed to helping me be a better person.

Recuperation

19 Aug 2012 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , , ,

RecuperationOverindulgence, in whatever form, often leads to a period of recuperation, and so it was today. The evenings jollifications with Phil and Nick yesterday led to Bumble being laid low for most of the day. Not that she went bonkers, or anything like, but it appears that her constitution was compromised and she spent the day recovering.

In fact, the whole day could be described as lethargic. Having breakfast with our guests, followed by a visit from Steve and Sue, meant that any ideas of a slow and lazy start had to be canned.

Burning the candle at both ends leads to burned fingers and a very short candle, which leaves one feeling a bit battered and bruised and not a little tired. We did get a fair few of the to-do list items sorted, but we both had power-naps in the afternoon, when we really should have been out in the fresh air and sunshine.

We also left it too late to get together with Charlotte and Hannah yesterday, the legacy of trying to fit too much into the time available. So once again plans were scrapped, and although it was a very enjoyable day, we were both left a bit too tired to make the most of it.

Still, nobody died or was eaten by bears, so we can take the lessons learned and make sure that we space our activities out a little better in future. Much more chanting and a little more resting required me thinks. These old bones are in fine fettle considering, but they just can’t take the strain at times.

Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.

Best Laid Plans

18 Aug 2012 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , , ,

Best Laid PlansAs with all things in the universe, the normal order is that of chaos, and so it was that our Friday night plans to go over to friends for dinner were turned upside down and inside out. Not that the evening wasn’t a real pleasure, it was, but nothing like that which had been envisaged.

Having preconceived ideas about things can be a source of much disappointment. Expectations, as discussed previously, are simply one set of outcomes , seen from your own point of view. These must be shelved, otherwise the enjoyment of events can be completely overshadowed.

When things change, be flexible, allow yourself to see the positives and supress the negatives. Nothing in life is set in stone, so go with the flow, chanting along the way when necessary, and make the most of each and every possibility.

Family And Friends Make Life Fun

17 Aug 2012 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , ,

Greystones CottageHip hip hoorah, it’s Friday, and we all know what that means! The weekend is upon us once more and the social secretary has been hard at work organising another busy weekend.

With three meals planned with family and friends, as well as a visit from Charlotte, Hannah and all the lads tomorrow afternoon, there will be precious little time for chores …

Being surrounded by family and friends is a very fortunate situation in which to find oneself. Even with both of my brothers living abroad, I still get to see most of the rest of the family on a fairly regular basis.

Both Charlotte and Hannah live within a few minutes of Greystones, so I also spend a lot more time with them and their boys, which is brilliant. Children grow up fast, not seeing them for a few months meant that I missed out on so much. Not any more.

Social connections are a huge factor in the happiness of the individual, so get out there and make those connections. I’m working on the principle that a change is as good as a rest, so I should be full of beans by the time Monday morning comes round. I hope you all have a good one too.

More Stardust

14 Aug 2012 4 Comments

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , , ,

More StardustBumble called me tonight on my way home to tell me that she had just visited her Auntie Pat in hospital.

Pat, the wife of Ivor’s brother Walt, had a stroke around the same time as Ivor was taken into Frenchay hospital. An hour or so later, B rang me again to say that Pat had passed away.

Believing in reincarnation and the Wheel of Life, I am happy that Pat has been relieved of her suffering and confident that she has re-joined the Universe. But I do feel very sad for Walt, who has lost both his wife and his brother, and Bumble, who has lost her father and her aunt, all in the space of three weeks.

They, and the rest of the family, have been in my prayers this evening, and I ask all of you to think of them if you find a free moment.

Nam Myoho Renge Kyo

Quiet Contemplation

12 Aug 2012 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , , , , ,

Memorial WoodlandsThis morning was anything other than fine. Thunderstorms overnight had woken a couple of us and the rain was still falling as we sat and ate breakfast. With Josie living and working on St. Martin’s in the Scilly Isles, she was unable to come back for Ivor’s funeral, so we had planned to got over to Jill’s and then go to the Memorial Woodlands together.

Graveyards, even one as beautiful as the Memorial Woodlands, are never the most cheery of places, even in the sunshine. But we were all rather heartened when, as we made our way there, the sun started to break through.

By the time we had reached the graveside the sunshine was glorious. We moved a bench next to Ivor’s grave and Jill, Josie and Bumble sat in quiet contemplation while Matt and I stood quietly by. It made for a very mixed set of emotions, the sad nature of the location with the beauty of the surroundings.

After a while, Josie and Matt went off for a quiet walk around the woodland, Jill got back in the car and B stayed seated on the bench. Jill and I chanted, and I think that it made us all feel a little better. Nam Myoho Renge Kyo is such a powerful chant, and although it can’t solve everything, it always makes the situation better.

By the time we reached the Lamb and Flag on Cribbs Causeway, the sadness had lifted somewhat, so by the time we had finished our lunch we were in a lighter mood. Remembering the loss of a loved one is difficult, maybe particularly so when it is so recent, but I think Jill’s belief regarding reincarnation helps her stay positive and that in turn helped the girls deal with their sorrow a little.

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