Uncomfortably Numb

28 Feb 2013 3 Comments

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , , ,

Uncomfortably NumbHaving assimilated the situation that arose yesterday, I have spent the day in a rather quiet office, ploughing on regardless and trying to piece together my thoughts on the past, the present and the future.

Having been offered the chance to apply for a new, but not dissimilar role, still in Ringwood, I put in my application yesterday afternoon. Now I have to deal with the conflicting emotions of hope, fear and bewilderment, whilst trying to plan for all eventualities.

People in the office have been very nice. They were aware of the upheaval caused by yesterday’s departures. I’ve been through this type of situation a couple of times, and it is as unsettling for those who remain, as those who leave.

Folks seemed genuinely pleased to see me this morning, though few have been brave enough to ask after the details of the underlying changes, maybe for fear that they might be affected too. After the initial greetings, things settle back into the usual routine.

But I am now in a quandary, trying to soldier on despite having a possible leaving date, trying not to get too optimistic about securing a role for which I am only one candidate in a very competitive job market. To paraphrase Pink Floyd, I have become uncomfortably numb.

Chop, Chop

27 Feb 2013 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , , ,

Getting The ChopBefore I became a Nichiren Buddhist I found disappointments very difficult to handle, so today, being told that my services are no longer required at work, I was inwardly pleased with the manner in which I handled the fall of the axe.

I have always been prone to setting my expectations too high, and that leads to disappointment when the expectation isn’t met. My Dad, on the other hand, always seemed to be a little pessimistic, he never appeared to have very high expectations, never got overexcited about anything, so didn’t allow himself to feel disappointment, or that was the way it looked to me.

Since I have been practicing Nichiren Buddhism I have an inner strength that helps me through difficult times. It is a great comfort and I would recommend it to anyone who is struggling with issues or problems.

The strange thing is that Buddhism doesn’t always make the problems go away, although that does sometimes happen, but it gives me a different way of looking at the situation and a focus that makes the problems more easy to understand and to bear.

In general, my life has been very easy. I have a very loving family, great parents and had a very stable home life in my formative years. I’ve been through a few troughs, the usual things like losing my grandparents, my father and failed relationships, the same as every one else. I’m not looking to test my practice, but I truly believe that my inner strength is helping me cope with such times much better now.

If I were to try to pinpoint the single most important reason for this, I would say it was a new found mental calm. I’ve never been a fighter. At school I used to use humour to get out of the usual scrapes all kids get into. But I was prone to letting my feeling show, particularly when disappointment was involved.

Now, because I can see the situation from all angles, just like those reviews on the web, where you can spin the item around and look at it every which way, I can rationalise more easily. Being able to see a situation from other peoples perspective allows me to make sense of how things appear to them, and understand why they are reacting in the way they are.

It has changed my life, or at least the way I look at it, and it can help anyone. Maybe it could help you.

Setting Our Goals

26 Feb 2013 1 Comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , , ,

Goal SettingSet your goals with care. Whether they are big or small, work towards realising them.

You must be serious and dedicated to your goals – you will never get anywhere if you set them on a whim, or just treat them like a joke.

An earnest, dedicated spirit shines like a diamond and moves the hearts of people. That is because a brilliant flame burns within.

If we are sincere, people will understand our intentions, and our positive qualities will shine forth. It is pointless and destructive to be overly conscious about outward appearances.

As the German poet Johann Wolfgang von Goethe wrote,

“How may one get to know oneself?

Never by contemplation, only indeed by action

Seek to do your duty, and you will know at once how it is with you”

Goals are at the heart of our success, in fact they are the Kyo, and indeed the very basis of Kyo Chi Gyo I. Set your goals with care, and once they are set, aim for them with vigour passion and determination in equal measure.

Dignity And Poise

07 Oct 2012 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , ,

Maintaining Self DisciplineThere are challenges in life, each and every day. Some are simple and demand little or no self discipline on our part. Others are much more taxing, maybe even painful in nature, and require all our wisdom, courage and compassion in order to deal with them.

There is a saying that the earth upon which we fall is the same ground which enables us to push ourselves up again. There is another which maintains that barley grows better after it has been trampled upon.

Human relationships are sometimes painful, but there is no pain from which we cannot recover. It is up to us to decide to live a life free from self-doubt and despair in spite of our failures.

Indeed, it is during our most humbling moments that we should show greatest poise and grace. Then the dignity of our lives will truly shine through.

Steady As You Go

25 Sep 2012 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , ,

Steady As You GoWhen you find yourself in a situation where there is nothing you can do that will help, what should you do? Well if there really is nothing you can do, even after you have chanted yourself silly trying to find something, you must do nothing.

Now if you are anything like me, that is a very tall order indeed. I have to work very hard on my self discipline and use copious amounts of wisdom, courage and compassion, to just sit on my metaphorical hands and leave things alone.

But Time really is a wondrous element. At times it goes by at the speed of light, at others it moves with all the pace of a growing Oak tree. When I am in a difficult situation, but not allowing myself to try to fix things, I’m in a world of Oak trees, forests of them.

But just as the little acorn grows into the majestic Oak tree, the situation gradually starts to unfold. As it changes, almost imperceptibly at first, different options also become apparent. And like a pot, rotating on a potter’s wheel, I am eventually able to see even the knottiest challenge from all 360 degrees.

And this calm approach does not go un-noticed. The calmer you can remain, the less chance there is that you will inflame the situation. As we mentioned a couple of days ago, because you remain calm, your environment will remain calm too. Now that has to be a beneficial life-state for everyone concerned.

To borrow a quote from today’s SGI-UK Facebook page:

Suffer what there is to suffer, enjoy what there is to enjoy. Regard both suffering and joy as facts of life, and continue chanting Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo, no matter what happens. How could this be anything other than the boundless joy of the Law?

-Nichiren

Perseverance Wins

11 Sep 2012 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Andy Murray - US Open WinnerCongratulations to Andy Murray, for winning the first Grand Slam title of his career. His thrilling US Open victory over Novak Djokovic, which had me glued to the TV until nearly 3:00am this morning, is the first British Grand Slam winner since Fred Perry in 1936.

I am ashamed to say, that as with Tim Henman, Greg Rusedski and other previous British hopefuls, I was fearful that a title win would never come. It seemed that when the chips were really down, he just didn’t have the character to push home any advantage.

So sitting there this morning, I was delighted when after taking the first two sets, then losing the next two, he found that inner strength to play some of his best tennis and defeat Djokovic in the final set. The match took just short of 5 hours to complete, a testament to the stamina and fitness of both players.

Murray thanked his new coach and mentor, Ivan Lendl, and said that his experience and presence had helped him to this first title win. Of course Murray has practiced and practiced to reach this level of achievement. He has had the determination to continue in the face of defeats and is now reaping the rewards of that dedication.

His goal was a Grand Slam title, my goal is enlightenment, very different on the face of it, but the path to both entails practice, focus, determination and courage to continue in the face of adversity. Andy has reached his goal, for me the quest continues.

Have Faith In Your Message

05 Sep 2012 1 Comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , ,

Have Faith In Your MessageSometimes it feels as though nobody is listening to us. No matter how important our message may be, it is falling on deaf ears, or so it seems. So maybe we speak a little louder, make our words a little more pronounced, like we are speaking to a child, nothing happens.

Actually, we may be right, maybe our message really isn’t getting across, but speaking louder, even shouting, still won’t make people listen. So what is really going on here? Well, the problem is that we are transmitting on the wrong frequency, or using the wrong type of media, or language.

Of course I am being metaphorical, we all speak within a frequency range between about 60 and 7000Hz, varying slightly person to person. But unless someone is ready to hear something in particular, they may not respond to you at all.

We have all had the experience of being in a noisy room, at a party or on a busy street where all conversation is a jumble, until someone calls out our name. We hear it, we can pick it out from all the background chatter and clatter, we are programmed to do exactly that, almost from birth.

So if you want to get a message across, say the name of the person with whom you wish to converse. Then, when they have stopped saying whatever they were saying, or doing whatever they were doing, they will be ready, and most likely willing, to listen to what you have to say.

If, having got their attention, you can deliver the message in a positive and friendly manner, there is even more chance that they will take in the content of the message. If you can actually make those contents helpful to the recipient, you really have got it cracked.

A Painful Lesson

04 Sep 2012 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , ,

A Painful LessonProbably as a result of all the hedge cutting this weekend, my back is giving me trouble again. It’s been a tough day, trying to catch up with the lost days from last week, and having the pain didn’t help much.

Tonight, Bumble rang to see how I was, and was keen to help me resolve my back problem. She has a deal of experience in dealing with disability, so she does know what helps and what doesn’t.

I had taken a couple of paracetamol, rubbed some Voltarol gel on the small of my back and gone to bed, as lying down seemed to help ease the pain. But I think the combination of the discomfort and the tiring day in the office had conspired to put me in a pretty low life-state.

I was less than grateful for the advice, which is shameful. After she put the phone down I felt really bad about things. I needed to sort myself out, maybe even actually take some of the advice on board.

So I got up, went for a short walk around the quay and had a hot shower when I got back home. Then I chanted, and my life-state seemed to rise with every repetition of Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.

I would like to think that my blog helps others by giving out a positive message, but I also think it is important to be honest. So tonight I have to be honest and say that this evening, when Bumble rang, was a definite step backwards.

The only consolation is, that after a deal of soul-searching and chanting, I was able to look at things from a more positive viewpoint. I am sorry to disappoint the people who read my blog regularly, but I am heartened that another challenge has been met, and another important lesson learned.

Personal Responsibility

22 Aug 2012 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , , , , ,

ResponsibilityIt’s Auntie Pat’s funeral next Wednesday, so the family will once again gather to say their farewells. Unfortunately, being the day after the day after the bank holiday is not ideal, but there are some things in life, and death, that are a higher priority than others.

Officially, I am not part of Pat’s family, so have not been granted compassionate leave in order to attend. However, I want to be there, to support Bumble as well as to pay respect to Pat and her immediate family.

Her children, their partners and children will be coming up from Cornwall for the service, so it is the least I can do, particularly after they made the effort to be at Ivor’s burial, at such short notice.

In the past, I am sorry to say, I have not taken my responsibilities as seriously as I might have. That, I am pleased to say, has all changed. So I will be there next week, come hell or high water, and will do the right thing by all concerned. Just another example of how my practice has contributed to helping me be a better person.

A Moving Experience

28 Jul 2012 1 Comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , ,

A Moving ExperienceFollowing the emotional challenges of yesterday, today we had a far more down to earth set of goals to achieve, namely moving B’s son Sam and his partner Georgie into their new house in Kingswood.

Not that moving furniture is generally such a problem, but when it’s someone else’s property and you have no idea what is in each box, or where it should be put, it does get a little more tricky.

Fortunately, baby Merrin was round at Georgie’s mum’s house, so we were able to leave doors open and move around without worrying about her escaping or getting tangled up in the bits of dismantled bed, wardrobes or cupboards.

It took us a while, even though there were six of us on the case. The weather was kind, even a little too warm for humping and lifting maybe, but by mid afternoon we were able to leave Sam and Georgie to get on with the onerous task of putting everything in its rightful place, another challenge met and a job well done by all.

All that is left to do is to wish the couple all the very best in there new abode and hope that they are very happy. I’ve done a bit of chanting to that effect, so everything should go to plan.

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