Uncomfortably Numb

Uncomfortably NumbHaving assimilated the situation that arose yesterday, I have spent the day in a rather quiet office, ploughing on regardless and trying to piece together my thoughts on the past, the present and the future.

Having been offered the chance to apply for a new, but not dissimilar role, still in Ringwood, I put in my application yesterday afternoon. Now I have to deal with the conflicting emotions of hope, fear and bewilderment, whilst trying to plan for all eventualities.

People in the office have been very nice. They were aware of the upheaval caused by yesterday’s departures. I’ve been through this type of situation a couple of times, and it is as unsettling for those who remain, as those who leave.

Folks seemed genuinely pleased to see me this morning, though few have been brave enough to ask after the details of the underlying changes, maybe for fear that they might be affected too. After the initial greetings, things settle back into the usual routine.

But I am now in a quandary, trying to soldier on despite having a possible leaving date, trying not to get too optimistic about securing a role for which I am only one candidate in a very competitive job market. To paraphrase Pink Floyd, I have become uncomfortably numb.

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Joey Wilson
    Feb 28, 2013 @ 20:58:56

    From some one who is always searching and investigating meaning in my life. Looking for answers to questions? I find myself looking for answers to feelings and emotions. I’ve been doing that all my life. I turned to the bible the new and old and it told me to live this certain way. However, I was raised a Catholic and have come the realization that it wasn’t my choice to be catholic and have chosen my own path to spirituality. Buddhism helped me identity the feelings and emotions I couldn’t put words. And if a new problem arises there is always the Sangha to fall back on and that in itself is the true blessing I have been searching for in life. In a catholic church the support is through the bible unlike Buddhism where everything can be analyzed, investigated and identified to correct or Not to do…namaste

    Reply

  2. contextrelated
    Mar 04, 2013 @ 20:52:02

    I’ve been where you are now and it’s very stressful. Even though I tried to put on a brave face the anxiety in me was (and still is to a certain extent is) very tangible. For me I had good days and some very bad days given a similar experience.

    I went to a Buddhism Monastery last night to a guided meditation session and the head monk said something like “life is like the waves of the ocean. Sometimes the waves are high and the sea of life is rather turbulent. The practice of mindfulness and buddhism in general is aimed at smoothing the waves and to ease the resulting personal suffering and pain.”. In other words life will play itself out and the situation will right itself.

    Good luck and hang on in there.

    Reply

  3. Anupadin
    Mar 04, 2013 @ 21:58:11

    Thanks guys, I am lucky enough to have a great group of family and friends around me, and although the work situation isn’t much fun, there are so many people out there who would give their eye teeth to be in my situation. I find that it’s important at times like this to see the good in everything, positive thinking makes positive things happen.

    Namaste,

    Anupadin

    Reply

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