Positively Choosey

Choosing The Right WayIt may seem to be a strange thing to say, but our happiness, or otherwise, is actually a choice we make for ourselves. It’s basically tied to the way we view the challenges that life throws at us. When something happens, something we would rather hadn’t happened, we have a choice to make. Do we throw our hands in the air and go into a selfish mood of depression, or do we face the issue head on?

If we take the former route, only seeing the bad side of things, the issue will seem to get bigger and worse than it actually is. Our depression will make things even worse, and a negative spiral ensues. This is not a good route to a positive outcome, and even if we were to conquer the problem, it would take us longer and require more effort in the long run. How often have you got into a state over something, only to realise, in the fullness of time, that it really wasn’t as bad as you thought?

The other way to approach things, is to remain calm, look for the positives, and there will be some, rather than focussing on the negatives. A calm mind works better than a frantic mind. Focussing on the positives actually raises our life-state, which makes us feel more energetic and more able to do what needs to be done and meet the challenges head on.

Enlightenment has been described as a state in which we are continuously happy. Now that might sound a bit far fetched, but if we make the right choices, consciously and subconsciously, we can maintain a state of happiness. To attain the ability to control our minds to such a degree that we make the right choices every time is no small matter, which is why the path to enlightenment is long and winding. But I know that I am further down the path each day, and the goal is worth every ounce of effort.

Connected

A Universe Of PossibilitiesIt’s amazing how we and the rest of the Universe are so closely connected. Sitting at home, still working, but being allowed to ‘take stock’ of my current predicament, I’m running dozens of ‘what if’ scenarios through my head.

Then, to focus my own thoughts on just what this situation might make possible, I stumble across this Thought For Today from Sensei …

“When we plant the seeds of self-doubt, only noxious weeds sprout. When we limit ourselves with low expectations, the growth of the tree of happiness immediately ceases.

The power of growth, of improvement, the power to overcome all stagnation and break through every obstacle and transform a barren wasteland into a verdant field—that unstoppable power of hope resides right there in your own heart.

It will well up from the rich earth of your innermost being when you face the future without doubt or fear: “I can do more. I can grow. I can become a bigger and better human being”—life and faith are a never-ending struggle to grow.”

So, when you couple that to the fact that the Canal and River Trust are advertising their vacancies, maybe taking stock is just what I needed, and that the connections are strong.

Clearing Drains

Are You A Radiator Or A Drain?You might be thinking this is going to be a section taken from a Dyno-Rod manual, looking at the title, but it’s far more useful than that.

There are two types of people in this world, and no, not those who say ‘There are two types of people’ and those who don’t. Life is full of people who are Radiators and those who are Drains.

A Radiator is the kind of person who leaves you feeling more energetic and enthused, after you meet or speak to them, than before. They radiate positive energy and are happy to share their life-energies with others. They appear to have a permanent smile on their faces, as though they know something others do not. In fact they do, they know that the secret path to a happy life is to pass on their happiness to others.

Drains are the complete opposite. They have the unfortunate knack of being able to take energy and enthusiasm from other people, leaving them feeling unhappy and flat. When you meet one, and there are plenty around, the conversation is hard work, they are negative about things when you ask about how they are. In fact, you probably walk away wishing you hadn’t met them in the first place.

Our life-state can dictate whether we are a Radiator or a Drain if we let it, but concentrating on the positive side of life can change all that. When we are in Heaven we tend to Radiate energy to other people, when we are in Hell we Drain energy from others.

So think of all the good things in your life, walk around with a smile and a cheerful disposition, be a Radiator and see how people react positively towards you.

We all know a Drain when we meet one, and if you don’t, then it’s you.

Agony

Charlotte and OliverCharlotte is not having a good time with this surgery at all. She is in a lot of pain, has tubes coming out of her, so can’t even get into a comfortable position, and is on a ward with other women who are also suffering post operative discomfort in various forms.

She is being given morphine to help her cope with the pain, but she has never been good with anaesthetics, they make her feel sick. So you can imagine that she is feeling very low, doesn’t want to see or talk to anyone because she doesn’t want to upset them.

All I can do, being stuck here in Poole, is to be there if she texts or calls, to concentrate my practice on chanting and praying for a good outcome to all this and to help Charlotte and the rest of the family stay positive. Several people have been in to see her, and that might help cheer her a little, but the sooner she is home and on the mend, the better.

Dignity And Poise

Maintaining Self DisciplineThere are challenges in life, each and every day. Some are simple and demand little or no self discipline on our part. Others are much more taxing, maybe even painful in nature, and require all our wisdom, courage and compassion in order to deal with them.

There is a saying that the earth upon which we fall is the same ground which enables us to push ourselves up again. There is another which maintains that barley grows better after it has been trampled upon.

Human relationships are sometimes painful, but there is no pain from which we cannot recover. It is up to us to decide to live a life free from self-doubt and despair in spite of our failures.

Indeed, it is during our most humbling moments that we should show greatest poise and grace. Then the dignity of our lives will truly shine through.

Determination, The Key

DeterminationWhen life is feeling like swimming in treacle, the only key to success is to draw on your own determination. Sometimes things don’t go the way you wish and that can be for a number of reasons. But if you can remain calm, suppress your frustrations and stay focused, things will change.

Like taking the lid off a particularly tenacious jar of jam, it’s all about getting a proper grip on the problem, and once the battle is joined, keeping the pressure on in a dogged manner. Of course the struggle may go on for some time, but there can only be one outcome if you refuse to quit, and that is victory.

And don’t forget the wonderful feeling of success when the lid finally turns. That comes with all manner of problems, and is the reward for all your effort and determination.

Funtime Friday

Road ClosedWith the new release of the software going live on Wednesday, we were feeling confident that things were pretty sorted as we go near to the weekend. Ha, what do we know? These sneaky little bugs have a canny knack of being able to hide until the most in-opportunistic moment.

As reports started coming in of some rather crucial problems, Dan the Man got stuck in finding the issue and the rest of us went into test mode. But with so many variables, it’s never easy to pinpoint the exact cause of some of these things.

By 5:30 it was getting clear that this wasn’t going to be an open and shut case, so I was told to go and make my way through the Friday evening traffic. It is difficult to gauge how long the trip to Bristle will take, but things were going pretty well until the SatNav announced that the A36 was closed for the next 20 miles!

The nice lady in my phone did a sterling job of working out a detour, via Devizes and Chippenham, so in the event, I wasn’t much later than usual. Bumble was at the cottage with a lovely meal waiting, and having scoffed the lot, we settled down to watch the England v Sweden game.

It all started rather well with England going ahead, but then, just like the journey, things went a bit pear shaped. At 2-1 down, I was fearing the worst, but I shouldn’t have worried, as England went on to win 3-2. And these little blips in proceedings served to prove a good point.

There is absolutely no point in crying over spilt milk, especially before it has been spilt. Anticipating problems, maybe imagining the worst, serves no practical purpose. In fact, if you can stay positive, as I managed to do by chanting my way round the detour, you arrive in a buoyant mood and everything works out just fine for all concerned. That may not have always been my way, so another good lesson learned.

Seeing The Positives

Sunnshine And ShowersThere was once an old lady who cried all the time. Her elder daughter was married to an umbrella merchant while the younger daughter was the wife of a noodle vendor. On sunny days, she worried, “Oh no! The weather is so nice and sunny. No one is going to buy any umbrellas. What will happen if the shop has to be closed?” These worries made her sad. She just could not help but cry. When it rained, she would cry for the younger daughter. She thought, “Oh no! My younger daughter is married to a noodle vendor. You cannot dry noodles without the sun. Now there will be no noodles to sell. What should we do?” As a result, the old lady lived in sorrow everyday. Whether sunny or rainy, she grieved for one of her daughters. Her neighbours could not console her and jokingly called her “the crying lady.”

One day, she met a monk. He was very curious as to why she was always crying. She explained the problem to him. The monk smiled kindly and said, “Madam! You need not worry. I will show you a way to happiness, and you will need to grieve no more.”

The crying lady was very excited. She immediately asked the monk to show her what to do. The master replied, “It is very simple. You just need to change your perspective. On sunny days, do not think of your elder daughter not being able to sell umbrellas but the younger daughter being able to dry her noodles. With such good strong sunlight, she must be able to make plenty of noodles and her business must be very good. When it rains, think about the umbrella store of the elder daughter. With the rain, everyone must be buying umbrellas. She will sell a lot of umbrellas and her store will prosper.”

The old lady saw the light. She followed the monk’s instruction. After a while, she did not cry anymore; instead, she was smiling everyday. From that day on she was known as “the smiling lady.”

Every Cloud

SunriseIt has been pretty cold for the last week, yesterday I even had frost on the car first thing, and the days are so short. The mornings are dark, the evenings are even darker, and it feels natural to get home after a long day at work, and curl up like a bear in his cave.

This morning wasn’t so cold, though the car was still covered in a fine dew. There was no breeze and because the children have finished school for the holiday, it felt like I was the only one not to be still tucked up in bed. But as with most things in life, and particularly in Buddhist life, every cloud has a silver lining. Every drop of poison can be turned into a drop of medicine and so it was this morning.

Driving down the Blandford road, the headlights of the oncoming cars and trucks were so bright against the velvet blackness of the early morning. The traffic was slow and I was wondering whether I was going to get to the office on time. Then very suddenly every thought changed, and my worry turned to wonder.

As the first rays of the sun peeped over the horizon they created a majestic and awe-inspiring sunrise, illuminating a beautifully sculptured high bank of clouds. It was amazing, the colours were stunning, and the whole spectacle changed second by second. It was so huge, completely filling the sky, it was impossible to take in the whole. It transformed my journey and in fact my whole day. Of course, the sun comes up every day, but some days it does it in much more wondrous ways than others.

Taking On Challenges

Challenges NOT ProblemsWe have discussed the difference between problems and challenges, and we know that there is no difference, other than in our head. Problems are things we worry we cannot overcome, challenges are things we believe that we can. Having the confidence and determination to tackle things head on enables us to stay positive, to turn poison into medicine, to take on those challenges (we don’t do problems here) and ultimately to live a happy and fulfilled life. But if we let our mind magnify the challenge, our Fundamental Darkness takes control, and these obstacles grow and grow.

Overcoming Obstacles

This negative aspect is often referred to as the ‘three obstacles and four devils’ (in Japanese, sansho shima). Obstacles refer to things which appear to be outside of ourselves (but which ultimately have their origins in our lives) and the devils, or negative elements, are ‘internal’. What makes these obstacles and devils serious is that if we are influenced by them we may stop practising Buddhism. They confront us at a specific point in time – usually when we are about to grow in our lives and move forward. The fact that at a difficult moment we may think that we should stop practising is a sign that it is an attack of one of the three obstacles and four devils. From a positive point of view these hindrances enable us to see a weakness in our lives so that we can chant and become stronger in that area.

The first is the obstacle of earthly desires. Buddhism teaches that our earthly desires may be transformed into enlightenment. Second is the obstacle of karma, which includes the influence of those who are close to us such as a spouse, partner or children. Third is the obstacle of retribution, which means opposition from those with power over us, such as our superiors, parents or people in authority.

The devils come from within our own lives. We create our own negativity, our own doubt, uncertainty and confusion. The first devil arises from our earthly desires. It can include egoism, craving for personal fame and riches, laziness or being dominated by force of habit. It can also arise from the three poisons of greed, anger and stupidity.

Second is the devil of weakness that can arise in our own bodies, such as an illness which will hold us back and reduce our capacity. Third is the devil which manifests as the hindrance of death. Unless we are confident that death is not ‘the end’, but rather another phase in the cycle of life and death – then another person’s death can trigger a sense of doubt and can considerably weaken our will to practise Buddhism, even though Buddhism is intended to relieve us from the sufferings of birth and death.

Finally the fourth devil is known as the Devil King of the Sixth Heaven who, in Buddhist mythology, works to obstruct Buddhist practice and drain our life force. This is the manifestation of fundamental darkness inherent in life. And because of this can be seen as the most challenging aspect of negativity to conquer. When influential people persuade or threaten us to stop practising this could be said to be the workings of the Devil of the Sixth Heaven.

Whatever form they take, the Daishonin advises us to take these obstacles and devils as confirmation that we are properly practising the true Law through which ordinary people become Buddhas. They offer us insight into aspects of our human revolution, ways to strengthen our lives and assurance that we are on the verge of achieving this, so long as we are neither influenced nor frightened by them. Human revolution includes experiencing this process and transforming some aspect of ourselves. It indicates the real experience of finding we have to confront something. It also includes our need to gain the inner conviction that we can win over the obstacle in question.

In Buddhism, the term ‘fundamental darkness’ is used to describe the ignorance and delusion inherent in human life. This is the ignorance of the fact that we all have the state of Buddhahood in our lives, at all times, latent and ready to be revealed. The aim of our great struggle for kosen-rufu, our movement of human revolution, is to transform that innate darkness into light. Our goal is to vanquish the destructive tendencies within human life that give rise to mutual distrust and hate, violence and fear. The three obstacles and four devils become an indispensable means for doing this. That is why we should rejoice when they appear.

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