On Taking A Step Back

Criticising OthersIt is very easy to be critical of others, particularly when they are out of earshot. It is, however, valuable to also look for their strengths, as you gain nothing by only criticising others imperfections.

In fact, it is helpful to take a step back, even for a moment, each day, and try to consider the feelings and positive qualities of those of whom you are critical.

It Might Be You

It Might Be YouSome people are always ‘up’ for things, they walk around with a smile and a spring in their step, they are Radiators. Other folks always seem to wear a frown, they look as though they are carrying the worries of the world on their shoulders. They never seem to have a good word to say about anything, they are the Drains.

A Radiator is the kind of person who leaves you feeling more energetic and enthused, after you meet or speak to them, than before. They radiate positive energy and are happy to share their life-energies with others. They appear to have a permanent smile on their faces, as though they know something others do not. In fact they do, they know that the secret path to a happy life is to pass on their happiness to others.

Drains are the complete opposite. They have the unfortunate knack of being able to sap energy and enthusiasm from other people, leaving them feeling unhappy or flat. When you meet one, and there are plenty around, the conversation is hard work, they are negative about things when you ask about how they are. In fact, you probably walk away wishing you hadn’t met them in the first place.

Our life-state can dictate whether we are a Radiator or a Drain if we let it, but concentrating on the positive side of life can change all that. When we are in the life state of Heaven we tend to Radiate energy to other people, when we are in Hell we can tend to Drain energy from others.

So think of all the good things in your life, walk around with a smile and a cheerful disposition, be a Radiator and see how people react positively towards you.

We all know a Drain when we meet one, and if you don’t, then it might just be  you.

An All Round View

An All Round ViewI have always been prone to setting my expectations too high, and that leads to disappointment when the expectation isn’t met. My Dad, on the other hand, always seemed to be a bit pessimistic, he never appeared to have very high expectations, never got overexcited about things, so didn’t allow himself to show disappointment, or that was the way it looked to me.

Since I have been practicing Nichiren Buddhism I have an inner strength that helps me through difficult times. It is a great comfort and I would recommend it to anyone who is struggling with issues or problems.

The strange thing is that Buddhism doesn’t always make the problems go away, although that does sometimes happen, but it gives me a different way of looking at the situation and a focus that makes the problems more easy to understand and to bear.

In general, my life has been pretty easy. I have a very loving family, great parents and had a very stable home life in my formative years. I’ve been through a few troughs, the usual things like losing my grandparents and my father, and failed relationships, the same as every one else. I’m about to set off on a new career path of teaching, which could prove to be a challenge, but I truly believe that my inner strength will see me able to cope much better now.

If I were to try to pinpoint the single most important reason for this, I would say it was a new found mental calm. Now I’ve never been a fighter. At school I used to use humour to get out of the usual confrontations all kids get into. But I was prone to letting my feelings show, particularly when disappointment was involved.

It does seem that because I can now see the situation from all angles, just like those images on the web, where you can spin the item around and look at it every which way, I can rationalise things more easily. Being able to see a situation from other peoples perspective allows me to make sense of how things appear to them, and understand why they are reacting in the way they are.

It has changed my life, or at least the way I look at it, and it can help anyone. Maybe it could help you.

Take A Step Back

Criticising OthersIt is very easy to be critical of others, particularly when they are out of earshot. It is, however, valuable to also look for their strengths, as you gain nothing by only criticising others imperfections.

In fact, it is helpful to take a step back, even for a moment, each day, and try to consider the feelings and positive qualities of those of whom you are critical.

Is It You?

Radiators And DrainsThere are two types of people in this world, and no not those who say ‘There are two types of people’ and those who don’t. The two types are those who are Radiators and those who are Drains.

A Radiator is the kind of person who leaves you feeling more energetic and enthused, after you meet or speak to them, than before. They radiate positive energy and are happy to share their life-energies with others. They appear to have a permanent smile on their faces, as though they know something others do not. In fact they do, they know that the secret path to a happy life is to pass on their happiness to others.

Drains are the complete opposite. They have the unfortunate knack of being able to sap energy and enthusiasm from other people, leaving them feeling unhappy or flat. When you meet one, and there are plenty around, the conversation is hard work, they are negative about things when you ask about how they are. In fact, you probably walk away wishing you hadn’t met them in the first place.

Our life-state can dictate whether we are a Radiator or a Drain if we let it, but concentrating on the positive side of life can change all that. When we are in Heaven we tend to Radiate energy to other people, when we are in Hell we Drain energy from others.

So think of all the good things in your life, walk around with a smile and a cheerful disposition, be a Radiator and see how people react positively towards you.

We all know a Drain when we meet one, and if you don’t, then it’s you.

Positively Choosey

Choosing The Right WayIt may seem to be a strange thing to say, but our happiness, or otherwise, is actually a choice we make for ourselves. It’s basically tied to the way we view the challenges that life throws at us. When something happens, something we would rather hadn’t happened, we have a choice to make. Do we throw our hands in the air and go into a selfish mood of depression, or do we face the issue head on?

If we take the former route, only seeing the bad side of things, the issue will seem to get bigger and worse than it actually is. Our depression will make things even worse, and a negative spiral ensues. This is not a good route to a positive outcome, and even if we were to conquer the problem, it would take us longer and require more effort in the long run. How often have you got into a state over something, only to realise, in the fullness of time, that it really wasn’t as bad as you thought?

The other way to approach things, is to remain calm, look for the positives, and there will be some, rather than focussing on the negatives. A calm mind works better than a frantic mind. Focussing on the positives actually raises our life-state, which makes us feel more energetic and more able to do what needs to be done and meet the challenges head on.

Enlightenment has been described as a state in which we are continuously happy. Now that might sound a bit far fetched, but if we make the right choices, consciously and subconsciously, we can maintain a state of happiness. To attain the ability to control our minds to such a degree that we make the right choices every time is no small matter, which is why the path to enlightenment is long and winding. But I know that I am further down the path each day, and the goal is worth every ounce of effort.

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