The Gravel Path To Enlightenment

The Gravel Path To EnlightenmentThe prospect of lowering the gravel path outside the cottage by 10cm, with the help of B’s son and the children’s father didn’t exactly fill me with glee. Not that I am afraid of a bit of hard physical work, or of meeting a significant part of her past, but putting both together had seemed like it could possibly be a step too far.

Of course I shouldn’t have worried, B is a very caring person and would never knowingly put anyone in a difficult situation. So several hours and thousands of burned calories later, B has a nice newly laid gravel path, Sam has found his car key and I have found I have quite a lot in common with a man I didn’t really expect to meet.

We had a good laugh, talked about psychology, philosophy, spiritual and new age things, shared a bacon butty lunch and really got on rather well. Funny how life can surprise you, and in a good way, when you let it.

Why Are We Here?

Why Are We Here?Sorry to disappoint everyone, but there is no answer to that question here.

I get a lot of visitors to The Search For Enlightenment (TSFE) and I thought you might like to tell me why you visit.

I’ve added a few simplistic answers, in case you don’t have time to write your own. But if an appropriate answer isn’t in the list, add your own (please keep them clean).

Here’s the form …

And thank you for taking the time to let me know why you are here.

Anupadin

A Little More Responsibility

Be ResponsibleFollowing yesterday’s little incident, the topic of responsibility has been playing on my mind. Responsibility, they say, can weigh heavy on the shoulders of some people. But that need not be the case if we all accept that each and every action we take comes with automatic responsibility.

We all make mistakes from time to time, we are only human after all and mistakes are an all too human trait. The mistakes themselves are, quite often, easily forgiven, if we take the simple, and honest action of owning up.

Owning up is a bit of a strange saying, don’t you think? Owning means responsible for, owning a dog means being responsible for that animal, owning a house means being responsible for the upkeep of that building. So owning up to a mistake really means accepting that you are responsible for that mistake.

The big problem comes, it seems to me, when we refuse to be responsible for making, or refuse to accept that there is, any mistake we have made. Being a fully paid up member of the human race, I’ve made more than my fair share of mistakes. The problems have always come along when I’ve failed to own up.

So there are two simple ways to help with our mistakes. Think before you think, say or do anything, and if it transpires at a later time, that it was a mistake, take responsibility for that mistake before it causes any more problems.

Responsibility

Who's Responsible?Taking responsibility for all our actions is a basic principle of Buddhism, but of course it should be a principle we all live by, irrespective of our faith. We were spectators to an incident at work today, where responsibility was dodged, or at least postponed.

We were just packing up at the end of the day, when we heard a loud bang. Someone joked that it was someone wrecking one of our cars, but a quick look out of the window showed us that it was not a joke.

Someone had backed into a car in our car park and was already out of their car, inspecting the damage. It was clear from the debris on the tarmac, that it was a little more than a little nudge. Bits of plastic lying around and a rather nasty looking hole in the bumper were evidence of the impact.

Naturally, we expected the culprit to park up and come into the office to talk to the owner of the other car. But to our amazement, the driver had a quick look around, jumped back into their car, and drove off.

But there were a lot of witnesses to the incident and we all know who the driver was. It will be interesting to see what happens in the morning when the person gets into the office. I can imagine that there will be a deal of embarrassment when the incident is discussed.

I guess that we would like to think that the driver was in a hurry to get somewhere, and has every intention of accepting responsibility for the accident, time will tell.

Postscript: Following a little quiet encouragement, the perpetrator has exchanged details with the victim and the matter will be settled via their respective insurance brokers.

Sadly, the reputation of the perpetrator has been tarnished still further, as it appears that this is not the first occurrence of acting in this manner.

Keeping The Pressure On

Nam Myoho Renge KyoLooking back at the events of the past few months, I have issued myself a warning not to rest on my laurels. Buddhist practice is like a dog, for life, not just for Christmas, and must be part of your very being.

I have been back sliding, just a little, so I know I can do more towards my goal. The difficulty is getting the balance right, treading a fine line between strenuous regular practice and learning, and an obsession with the new challenges in life.

Given the fact that the whole point of adopting Buddhism as a way of life is to gain a happier existence for me and those around me, I need to get this right.

Those of you who know me, know that I have an addictive nature and throw myself into new ventures wholeheartedly. The problem, in the past, has been keeping that going. I have been, I admit openly, in the World of Hunger, for most of my life, always looking for the next new thing.

I am certain that I am addressing that and making some headway, but self criticism is always healthy in this respect.

The reason for keeping this blog, apart from sharing the joy, is to prove to myself that I have changed, and that I have the drive and desire to keep my practice strong. You have my permission to tell me if you see cracks appearing, and I know a certain someone who will.

Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.

A New Clear Reaction

We have lift offAs any physics student will tell you, for every action in the Universe, there is an equal and opposite reaction. It’s a law of physics, but also a law in Buddhism and a great way to track your progress. How can resistance be a good thing? It’s easy to think that it can’t. But actually, it’s a great way to measure progress.

As each action has this equal and opposite reaction, there can be no reaction without an action. So the reaction is a perfect indication that you have taken action. To borrow an example from The Buddha, Geoff and Me, let’s imagine an aircraft going down the runway.

As the plane increases speed, the wind resistance gradually increases. If the pilot reduces the power, the plane slows and the resistance reduces, but it won’t take off. If the pilot maintains the power, or increases it, the resistance builds, and the plane takes off, so the goal is achieved.

So feel good when the resistance builds against your actions, it is a good sign. Take heart, remain determined, keep the pressure on, increase your actions, never falter, and you too will reach your goal.

Cirque du Sunday

DIY was never meant to be like thisWhether it was the full on family evening on Friday and Saturday, too much fine food and wine, the unrelenting fun of being surrounded by loved ones, or just a combination of them all, we may never know. Suffice to say that by eight o’clock tonight, B and I were pooped.

It’s interesting to compare our viewpoints about the ‘productivity’ of our weekends. I guess we measure them using totally different scales. My scale measures fun, doing things with the family, children, grandchildren, pets etc. B’s scale measures the number of items remaining on the refurb to-do list.

Now it’s true to say that both scales return valid measurements, but comparing them is like comparing apples and aardvarks. Suffice to say, having spent most of the afternoon and evening fixing pictures, mirrors, smoke detectors and the like in their allotted places, I was keen to call it a day.

B, on the other hand, could only see the remaining list of tasks. To her eyes, the list just got longer and longer, and each weekend smacked of failure when the number of completed jobs failed to meet expectations. It was clear that my capitulation was not universally welcome. A compromise was urgently required.

A nutty little problem, that of re-hanging a pair of cupboard doors, handily placed over the stairs, was the subject of said compromise. B had ‘threatened’ to refit them herself, but in my eyes, that was far too dangerous. We had no ladder short enough to get into the house that would, once positioned, be long enough to reach the cupboard. A conundrum wrapped in an enigma.

I won’t go into too much detail, in an attempt to protect the squeamish, but the initial stages of the re-fit were accomplished using a combination of a step ladder, a chair and a motley selection of wooden battens. The task alone was simplicity itself, but the position of the cupboard made it nigh on impossible.

However, in an admirable partnership of trust, skill, strength and, may I say, not a little daring-do, we completed the job with B sitting on my shoulders, whilst I leant out over the stairs in a push-up like pose, on tip-toe on the top step and supporting us both with my hands on a cross beam under the cupboard. We could easily have been mistaken for an act from Cirque du Soleil, except for the lack of spandex and greasepaint.

So the cupboard is again complete, the task list has reduced by one, B is safe and sound and harmony has once again descended upon The Cottage. Compromise, dialogue and acceptance of another’s viewpoint are all the ingredients required for a peaceful outcome. It’s just a shame a few more international leaders don’t try it.

A Soggy Symbolic Saturday

Buddha In My Coffee CupWhere is all this rain coming from? Apparently, it is officially the wettest drought on record, and looking out of the cottage window this morning it’s not surprising. The raindrops are hammering on the windows, powered on by a blustery north wind.

The morning started strangely. We were supposed to be meeting B’s mum, aunt and sister and brother in law at a bank on Whiteladies Road in Clifton at 10:30 and we were there, or thought we were, just before 10:00. Sadly, it was the wrong branch, so a 15 minute route march ensued when we realised, to get to the right one in Queen’s Road.

It would appear that despite, or maybe as a result of, the financial sector meltdown, that good old fashioned red tape is still very much in evidence. So while B, Sue and their mum jumped through all manner of hoop to sort out the administration, Auntie Wendy and I slipped quietly away to Costa for a caffeine top-up.

Funny how your life-state influences your view of things, or maybe not. The principle of the oneness of self and the environment means that you influence the people and things around you. So when an image of Buddha appeared on the top of my Latte, I suppose it shouldn’t have come as a surprise.

That Friday Feeling

TGIFWell it’s taken a whole week to get here, but finally Friday has arrived again. I know what you are saying, you were going to fill every minute, of every day, with sixty seconds of gainful employment, and I have. But doing that doesn’t stop me being pleased that, arguably, the best day of the week has put in a much appreciated appearance at last.

The weather looks like it’s going to be pants over the weekend, but that can’t stop us having fun if we are determined to make the most of our days off. Every weekend starts for me with a drive to Bristol, as you have probably realised by now, but even that has it’s plus points. Beautiful countryside and fabulous views of some amazing buildings, to name just two.

With a full agenda already pencilled in for both Saturday and Sunday, tonight is going to be a bit of R & R round at Charlotte and Rob’s, with the added promise of a Domino’s stuffed crust Hot ‘n Spicy pizza thrown in for good measure. So please don’t go telling B, she’ll give me hell.

It was a funny old week up to Wednesday, but having realised that I was wishing the days away, put me in a good place to boost my life-energies through chanting and that raised my life-state. Being in one of the higher worlds really does put a sunny outlook on everything and everyone, so I hope you managed to join me, and that you too are going to have a really great weekend.

Be Careful What You Wish For

Be Careful What You Wish ForSo many of us wish for things we would like, or wish to be things we aren’t. Short people wish they were taller, plump people wish they were thin, people with straight hair wish it was curly, people with curly hair wish it was straight.

Of course we are all ‘trained’ to want things from an early age, it’s a product of the consumerist society, and we are all urged to be dissatisfied with what we have, in favour of what the ad men can tempt us into buying.

But surely this way of going about things is a recipe for a certain degree of unhappiness. There are bound to be things we cannot have, maybe because it’s a physical impossibility, being taller when you are short, curly haired when your own is straight. So maybe there is a better way to look at things.

How about concentrating on the good aspects of our lives? You only have to take a few moments to think about it, and you will find that there are dozens, if not hundreds of things you are happy to have.

Maybe it’s your partner, family and friends. Maybe it’s good health, a decent job or even just having enough. So rather than thinking about the things you would like to have, take time to celebrate the things you already have, that are so precious to you, and things you would not like to live without.

And remember, you should always be careful about what you wish for. As a wise man once said, ‘Don’t wish for the stars, after all, where would to keep them all?’

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