The Search For Enlightenment

You know the situation. You are looking forward to some special event, something that you have waited for, for a long, long time.

As the event has come closer, you may have (foolishly) built it up in your mind’s eye and made it even more important than it was in the first place.

Then the reality of things comes into sharp focus, it’s not quite what you had planned and certainly not what you had built it up to be.

Time was, when I would have gone into a tail-spin and ended up in the Hell of all life-states. But not this time.

‘Oh? And why not?’ you ask.

Because I have changed my Honzon, my focus of devotion and adoration, to my practice, to Nichiren Buddhism and the goal of my eventual Buddhahood.

At first it might seem to be selfish, or shallow to make such a change, as my Honzon was, until fairly recently, my girlfriend, partner and the love of my life. Trouble was, with that scenario, I was dependent on her for my happiness. Not good for me, but even worse from her perspective. What a responsibility! It meant that if she was unhappy, I was unhappy. If she was angry about something, I was unhappy. If we had words about something, I was unhappy … etc. etc.

Not only did it have the potential to split us apart, worse still, I was in the wrong life-state to be able to help in even the smallest way, so a downward spiral was always on the cards. Now, I can see situations from a different view-point, more clearly and objectively, without fear of losing my Honzon. Now I can chant for answers, and although they don’t always appear immediately, they do appear.

But don’t get me wrong for even one second. I love her as much, if not more than I did before the change. It’s just that now I can be a help instead of a hindrance in times of trouble and support her in a ways I could never have dreamed of before.