Letting Go

23 Jul 2012 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , ,

Letting GoIt’s been a rather sad day for me today. Not because it was my first day back at work after a very difficult week away, or because it was a Monday, or even because I was missing Bumble, though of course I was. It was because I had to step back from the process of organising Ivor’s funeral. Not that I think for one instant that it will be anything other than perfect, but I was finding it very hard to be at arms length all of a sudden.

You know the feeling, when you have been doing a tricky jigsaw puzzle and got to within the last few pieces, or struggled with a tough crossword puzzle but only have the last clue to solve, then you get called away for some reason. When you return, someone has finished the puzzle, or inked in the last word, you feel a little cheated. We that’s how I was feeling, at least a bit.

Then, having taken a minute or two to think about things, I realised that this is not about me, in fact it’s anything but, so who organises what, or arranges what, is totally immaterial. In fact, I have been asked, by Jill, to contribute something for which I am very honoured. She has asked me to write, and to read at the graveside, something that explains the joyous nature of death in a Buddhist context.

So I will put my heart and soul into writing a piece that illustrates how death is far from the end in Buddhism. That it is simply another phase in the Wheel of Life and signifies the beginning of another cycle of life, and as such, is something which holds a great deal of happiness.

Biting My Tongue

12 Jul 2012 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , ,

Biting My TongueCommunication is the key to resolving issues, whether that is in a domestic or a work environment. So when we heard that there was a meeting planned for this morning, to iron out some issues between us, the IT team, and another department, I was looking forward to putting our point of view across.

Unfortunately, for reasons unknown at present, the meeting was cancelled, so the opportunity was lost, for the time being at least. Whilst it is not in my remit to resolve such issues, it benefits all concerned if they can be addressed and some form of compromise reached quickly.

I guess I will have to bite my tongue until we get another opportunity to meet. But I’m also hoping that the issues and the feelings that they generate will not escalate in the mean time. A little wisdom, courage and compassion on both sides will help prevent that happening, so fingers crossed that all three are in abundance.

All Shapes And Sizes

03 Jul 2012 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , ,

Challenges Come In All Shapes And Sizes - Wrenbury lifting bridgeChallenges come in all shapes and sizes as we all know. However, few can come much bigger, physically, than the Wrenbury lifting bridge. A lifting bridge is, as you might imagine, a bridge that can be raised to allow the narrowboat to pass underneath. Unlike any other lifting bridge we encountered, this one had a fairly main road crossing it, and had to be controlled by hydraulics, rather than by winding.

As the newbie to cruising canals amongst our group, it was just another piece of canal hardware that needed to be learned, but no one else had seen this type of machinery either. So when I was despatched to open the bridge as we came into Wrenbury, I took a windlass and set off to crank away as usual.

However, there was a shock in store. No winding gear, no instructions at all, apparently, just a motley collection of battleship grey boxes next to the bridge. Finally I found the control panel. The instructions might as well have been in Egyptian hieroglyphics and the buttons to operate the hydraulics were hidden under a Perspex cover that had been lovingly polished with wire wool, making it almost opaque.

Then I realised that I needed the British Waterways key to activate the panel, and that was on the boat key ring, in the ignition, back on the boat, a hundred yards back up the canal. It also transpired that the barrier that blocked the open side of the canal, while the bridge was up, needed to be closed manually before anything else would function. A proper contender for a test on the Krypton Factor if ever there was one.

Fortunately, Steve, who had been in the shower when I left the boat, had now joined me on the towpath, so while he man-handled the barrier, I ran back to the boat to get the key. Together we got things sorted, the bridge opened, the ignition key was returned to the boat, and the challenge was met.

At the time, I was a little flustered by the whole episode. Not only did I feel that I had let my shipmates down a little by my incompetence, but I had also held up the traffic longer than was comfortable. But on reflection, and having talked through the debacle with the gang, I felt better about the situation.

When we meet new situations, we need to use a combination of wisdom, courage and compassion, in varying degrees. I would like to think, and the guys seemed to agree, that given the circumstances, I did ok. At least when we need to raise the bridge again on our way back, we will be better equipped to make a better job of it.

So another challenge met, another lesson learned, more poison turned into medicine and another step taken on the path to enlightenment.

Mondays – An Apology

11 Jun 2012 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , ,

Fly Like An EagleI think, if you take a look back over the last few weeks and months, I’ve been a bit dismissive of the value of the first working day of the week. Well I’ve had a hard look at myself in the last couple of weeks and I think I owe them an apology.

To start with, it’s not their fault that they follow the weekend. Their name means Moon Day in Old English and I’m sure they wouldn’t have chosen to start the week. But with my rediscovered self-awareness I can honestly say that I was being unfair and trying to lay the blame for my failings at their door.

So having had a particularly productive day, and also been back in team mode, I can see that Mondays are no different to any other day of the working week and I apologise to them, unreservedly. It’s easy to see the mistake in hindsight, and is actually a good measure of progress towards enlightenment, or lack of it.

If you, like I, were feeling that Monday had got it in for you, or that the weekend was taking an eternity to arrive, it’s time to take a long hard look at yourself. It’s easy to blame others for the challenges we face, it’s much more difficult to accept that the blame is our own. But having done so, you have the freedom to break free from the self imposed restrictions and fly like an eagle once again.

A Little More Responsibility

03 May 2012 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , ,

Be ResponsibleFollowing yesterday’s little incident, the topic of responsibility has been playing on my mind. Responsibility, they say, can weigh heavy on the shoulders of some people. But that need not be the case if we all accept that each and every action we take comes with automatic responsibility.

We all make mistakes from time to time, we are only human after all and mistakes are an all too human trait. The mistakes themselves are, quite often, easily forgiven, if we take the simple, and honest action of owning up.

Owning up is a bit of a strange saying, don’t you think? Owning means responsible for, owning a dog means being responsible for that animal, owning a house means being responsible for the upkeep of that building. So owning up to a mistake really means accepting that you are responsible for that mistake.

The big problem comes, it seems to me, when we refuse to be responsible for making, or refuse to accept that there is, any mistake we have made. Being a fully paid up member of the human race, I’ve made more than my fair share of mistakes. The problems have always come along when I’ve failed to own up.

So there are two simple ways to help with our mistakes. Think before you think, say or do anything, and if it transpires at a later time, that it was a mistake, take responsibility for that mistake before it causes any more problems.

Responsibility

02 May 2012 2 Comments

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , ,

Who's Responsible?Taking responsibility for all our actions is a basic principle of Buddhism, but of course it should be a principle we all live by, irrespective of our faith. We were spectators to an incident at work today, where responsibility was dodged, or at least postponed.

We were just packing up at the end of the day, when we heard a loud bang. Someone joked that it was someone wrecking one of our cars, but a quick look out of the window showed us that it was not a joke.

Someone had backed into a car in our car park and was already out of their car, inspecting the damage. It was clear from the debris on the tarmac, that it was a little more than a little nudge. Bits of plastic lying around and a rather nasty looking hole in the bumper were evidence of the impact.

Naturally, we expected the culprit to park up and come into the office to talk to the owner of the other car. But to our amazement, the driver had a quick look around, jumped back into their car, and drove off.

But there were a lot of witnesses to the incident and we all know who the driver was. It will be interesting to see what happens in the morning when the person gets into the office. I can imagine that there will be a deal of embarrassment when the incident is discussed.

I guess that we would like to think that the driver was in a hurry to get somewhere, and has every intention of accepting responsibility for the accident, time will tell.

Postscript: Following a little quiet encouragement, the perpetrator has exchanged details with the victim and the matter will be settled via their respective insurance brokers.

Sadly, the reputation of the perpetrator has been tarnished still further, as it appears that this is not the first occurrence of acting in this manner.

Backsliding

24 Oct 2011 2 Comments

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , , ,

Scales Don't LieI’ve been on this diet since early August, and it’s been going really well. I’ve lost over two stone (13kgs) and I feel terrific, but it’s so easy to get back into bad habits and undo all the good work. Saturday was a perfect example. Being invited to the cafe for breakfast was going to be a treat, teacakes, coffee and all. But it’s all too easy to think, ‘well I’ve had this and that, so I might as well go for it’. Stupid and a big mistake.

Like most challenges in life, it’s far more difficult to stick to the goal than it is to ignore it and let your urges take over. Sadly the scales don’t lie, and I know it wasn’t the teacake that caused all the trouble. One way I have stayed on course is by not having temptations in the house. But Charlotte’s place was full of goodies. A half eaten birthday cake, a box of flapjacks, even a box of Dunkin’ doughnuts.

I managed to avoid most of them, but whether it was because I was tired I don’t know, but I just felt hungry, and gave in to temptation. A couple of crumpets with cheese, coffee with sugar and several Caramel and Crunchie mini bars later I was feeling better, but suitably miffed with myself.

I knew that things would have taken a backwards step when I weighed myself yesterday, but having ‘been good’ all day I was even more dismayed to find things were no better this morning either. So today has been a day for quiet contemplation and sticking strictly to my self imposed rules.

It’s so much easier, and pleasant, to put weight on than it is to get it off. But the hardest of all is to lose it, and then put it back on when you know that you let your fundamental darkness take control. Double the pain, knowing that there is a chink in your determination, and that it really wasn’t worth all the angst. So get thee hence Dark Passenger. My new cycling bits arrived today, so I’m going to put them to good use and burn all those stupid calories off again.

Measuring Self Discipline

14 Oct 2011 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , ,

Measuring Self DisciplineI’ve been listening with interest to the news regarding the government plans to stem the growing number of obese people, particularly children. There are ideas regarding emulating the Scandinavian ‘Fat Tax’ idea, where fattening foods would be taxed at a higher rate than less fattening foods, discouraging people from buying them. There are also plans to involve the food manufacturers, suggesting that they reduce the fat content, or even the size of packaged foodstuff portions.

One reason that I have been so interested is that I have been ‘dieting’ myself since the beginning of August. I put dieting in quotes because I haven’t had any hard and fast rules, no real ‘haves’ and ‘have nots’, I just been eating a lot less than I was and doing more than I was too. The good news, from my own point of view, is that I have lost well over ten kilos, or more than a stone and a half in old money, in that time.

But there really isn’t any magic, it’s exactly the same as karma, it’s cause and effect. The nice thing is, that compared to karma, the results are pretty instant. On days where I have been strong, stuck to my self regulated plan, I see a weight loss. On the odd day when I have eaten more than I planned, I usually see a small gain. Good causes, good effects, bad causes, bad effects, it’s as simple as that.

So is there really any need to go to all this trouble to help obese people to lose weight? I don’t really think there is. The real problem is that people often lack the determination or self disciple to reach their goals. It is much easier to gain weight than it is to lose it, and it’s a far more pleasant process too. But if you want something bad enough, and set achievable, smaller goals, it’s not beyond the reach of anyone.

If I can do it, you can do it. It’s simply a case of finding the self disciple to consume fewer calories than you burn each day. The one thing that I can say, is that there is very little to compare with the pleasure you feel when you reach each small goal, one after another, after another. Self discipline is a wonderful thing. If you can find it within yourself, it will reward you time and time again, and when people notice and comment, that’s a bonus.

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