Little Signs

Ringwood Sunset - Click to see the full size imageOn a day where there has been rather less than usual to get excited about, the end of the day brought a beautiful surprise. A gorgeous sunset, across the watery floodplain, gave us all a little boost as we packed up and headed for home.

The other little sign, although the weather has certainly taken a turn towards the chilly end of the thermometer, was that there was definite daylight peeking over the line of trees as I made my way to my car tonight.

Just knowing that the days are getting longer puts a smile on my face. The promise, though it certainly doesn’t include any written money-back guarantees, that the warmer, drier weather is on its way, is enough to put a spring in anyone’s step.

As with any progression towards a better situation, the little steps are almost too small to measure. But when you add them all up, take a look back from the position you now hold, the delight in the progress is palpable.

And the photo is just another drop of joy for my friend MidniteRainbow.

A 360° View

Three Fingers Point Back At YouWhen you become submerged in difficult situations, when the way forward looks bleak and less than inviting, it can be tempting to start pointing a finger at others to lay the blame at their door.

But there is an old Buddhist saying about pointing. When you point, one finger points out, away from you, towards the one you are blaming. But look at your hand, three fingers are pointing back, at you, towards the person who is also to blame. Meaning that for each inference you point at others, three will be pointed back at you. But there is another way.

If you are honest with yourself, really, truly honest, and you examine the situation from all angles, you will almost certainly find that you are indeed responsible for making some of the causes that, in conjunction with another or others, has contributed to the outcome in which you find yourself.

Rather than trying to apportion blame, take responsibility for your own mistakes, you will find it a very cathartic experience, I know, I’ve been there. The unsurprising side effect is that it will also change the way in which others perceive you. They will recognise the Wisdom, Courage and Compassion in your new found attitude, and will respect you for all it represents.

False Impressions?

Indian Rape ProtestsAll this talk about the 23 year old Indian female student who was raped and murdered by a gang of men, followed today by a second very similar incident involving a 21 year old Indian woman has been a real shock to me.

I have known and worked with quite a number of Indian people over the years, seen scores of documentaries about Buddha, Ghandi and aspects of Indian life, and always thought that the society, although suffering from poverty in certain areas, was spiritual and peaceful in nature.

But these stories, and the background comments describing them as almost commonplace have forced me to think again. Obviously during the Indian mutiny and the struggle for independence Indians used force to further their cause, but to hear that the abuse of women is rife within Indian society flies in the face of everything I believed true.

If, and I have no reason to believe otherwise, that women are being mistreated and that social pressures are brought to bear on girls and women who are sexually abused, there needs to be a change, brought about by the Indian Government, to address that situation.

Similar changes are needed, and are slowly being implemented in the UK. There has long been a stigma about the reporting and prosecution of rape cases, which is slowly being eroded, but much more needs to be done. Having lived with a victim of rape some years ago, I can say first hand, that it destroys lives and should be treated with the respect and sensitivity it deserves.

It is very sad that these women have suffered and died in such a traumatic and violent manner. Let us ensure that the outrage the cases have caused in India, is mirrored in the UK, and the steps to help the victims of rape in this country are strenuous far reaching and happen as soon as possible.

2012 Is Over, Here Comes 2013

Happy New Year - 2013I have to report, that for the majority of people I know, with the exception of a couple of high points, 2012 has been a year of sadness, and one that most will be happy to see gone.

But as we know, the challenges in life are there to help us become stronger. And those of us who have met those challenges and grown as a result, are still here to greet the New Year.

Happy New Year everyone. I pray that 2013 will be a healthy, fortunate, positive and above all peaceful one for everyone.

Problems? Them’s Not Problems

Viktor Frankl - Man's Search For MeaningI’ve been re-reading Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl, just to brush up on the lessons contained therein.

What an amazing account of such unbelievable suffering, and impossible to put down. I have found reading the book to be humbling experience. It’s put my problems well and truly into the ‘insignificant’ category.

Frankl was one of the few people to survive the Nazi death camps and writes his story from the viewpoint of his position as a psychiatrist.

I’m not going to relate anything from the book, but I strongly recommend you read it.

It’s not about Buddhism, but it really is very Buddhist like.

What If ???

What IfSometimes, we find ourselves in situations, or potential situations, were we are a little unsure of what the outcome may be. Our minds race, we mull over the possibilities, the what ifs, the maybes, and it can be all too easy to form ideas in our minds as to how things will pan out.

That’s fine, and perfectly normal, as long as we don’t let these expectations run away with us. Having a preconceived idea is one thing, but pinning our hopes on that idea is a recipe for disaster. Things rarely, if ever, go exactly as we imagine.

So the trick is to keep a level head, let events unfold as they will, and be tolerant of the inevitable differences between what we expect, or would like, and what actually comes to pass.

But as someone once said ‘Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it’. Conversely it has also been said that ‘That thing you wished for, the thing you never got, might have been the most fortunate moment you could ever imagine’. So muse way, daydream to your hearts content, but remember that at the end of the day, the truth of the situation will become clear soon enough.

Changing Viewpoints

The Pole In The RiverWe all have a mental view of where we are going in life, what we would like our future to look like, a set of challenges that we must conquer if we are to find our utopia. Each day, maybe even each second of each day, that view changes, usually just a little, sometimes quite a lot.

In a way, we can look at this from the view of a swimmer who is trying to swim against the flow of a river or a tide. He or she can swim at a constant pace, from their own viewpoint, a set number of strokes per minute, but their progress, from the viewpoint of an observer on the bank or the shore may be anything but constant.

It all depends on the strength of the current. If the current is flowing slower than the swimmer, the swimmer moves forward, if it is flowing faster than the swimmer, the swimmer moves backwards. Unsurprisingly, if the two are the same, the swimmer stays in exactly the same place.

Now we know that rivers and tides change, hourly, daily, in fact all the time. In order for the swimmer to know how fast to swim in order to make his or her desired progress they need to have a constant unchanging point on which to focus, a pole in the river, or a landmark on the shore, a point against which they can measure that progress.

Our situation in life changes in a similar way, so when we are striving towards our goals, we may think we are ‘swimming’ fast enough, think that we are making progress, when in fact, from another viewpoint, we are going nowhere, or even going backwards.

So what can we use as our ‘pole in the river’, our landmark by which we can measure our progress? Something that is constant, no matter what else changes around us. The answer, for me at least, is my practice. It is unchanging, it is strong and resilient and is always in the same place, no matter what else may be going on around me.

My practice gives me a great view of my progress. No matter what the challenge, when I chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, my perspective on things is focussed on a wider view of the situation rather than just my own viewpoint. So I know whether I am ‘swimming’ fast enough to reach my goal, or whether I need to put in more effort to achieve my aims.

You Have My Support

Apple TreeAt the back of our office, there is a small grass area surrounded by a wilderness of brambles and wild flowers. Last year, someone planted a very small apple tree which has a short piece of aluminium tubing next to it as a support.

Over the winter, and indeed into much of the spring, the tree was doing a very good impression of a dead twig. No leaves, no signs of life at all. But with the slowly rising temperatures, and all the rain, it has sprouted and is growing nicely.

The aluminium stake is only there to help the tree survive the worst of the weather, the wind and storms. It does not help the tree to grow, it is so loosely tied to the developing sapling that it does not influence it in any way, it just stands there and offers support when the tree needs it.

That is how we should be when we offer support to someone. We are not there to influence them or to change the way they are growing, just to provide additional strength when times get tough. We must show compassion when they go through growing pains, have wisdom to help them overcome their issues and use our courage when they lean on us.

Being their support brings it’s own challenges. We have to accept the path the the person we are supporting decides to take, whether it would be our choice or not. We must listen to what the person is saying, but not try to influence them or provide conflicting view points. We also have to have the strength to resist the forces that would otherwise cause us both to falter.

That is the role of a support. It’s not an easy role, but it does bring it’s own rewards. In time, like the tree, the person may in fact become stronger than us and no longer want or need our support. But the joy in seeing them grow and become strong is reward enough for the task undertaken.

On Reflection

Hurleston LocksI could actually feel the holiday slipping to a close today. Navigating back towards the marina, even though we still had another full day left, was a rather sad journey. Of course it did give us the chance to see all the sights of the outward leg anew, and from a different viewpoint.

The combination of the weather and the economy has made the canals rather quiet. And going back up through Hurleston locks was rather quicker than it had been yesterday, coming down. In fact we saw very few other people, other than the lock keeper.

In life, we rarely, if ever, get the chance to retrace our steps. Seldom do we get the chance to look at people and events from a different viewpoint. Circumstances change, people change and the effect of these changes distort the perception of past events.

But we can all relive our successes, and our failures, by playing them back in our mind. As I have changed over the last few years, I can now see the joys and sorrows in a new light. At times it is almost as though those things happened to another person, in another lifetime, and, given the chance, I might have done things differently.

But I remind myself, that every thought, word and deed I have had, said or done, have brought me to this point. Spending these last few days, in such close proximity to such lovely people, in such idyllic surroundings convinces me that my path is moving in the right direction.

Given the chance, I would not change a single thing, if the outcome would alter the situation in which I now find myself. Sometimes it is more important to concentrate on the present and the future, than to allow oneself to dwell on the past. The past is gone, we cannot rewrite our history, but we can, and we should, make causes to create positive effects on our present and particularly our future.

Everyone’s A Winner

Euro 2012So Euro 2012 is finally here and tonight’s games have lived up to all the hype and expectations. With the co-hosts Poland drawing 1-1 with Greece, I imagine the Poles are feeling a little down, letting a one goal and one man advantage slip in the second half.

Russia, on the other hand, must be buzzing, having beaten the Czech Republic 4-1. With more fancied teams playing over the next few days there will be winners and losers, but if the matches live up to the openers, football will be the real winner. But even the teams that come out of their opening games as losers can take heart if they look at the results in a slightly different way.

Daisaku Ikeda had this to say:

“Strength is Happiness. Strength is itself victory. In weakness and cowardice there is no happiness. When you wage a struggle, you might win or you might lose. But regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being.”

Going home with the shiny prize isn’t the only way you can win, again President Ikeda has pearls of Wisdom …

“It is not how you compare to others that is important, but rather how you compare to who you were yesterday. If you’ve advanced even one step, then you’ve achieved something great.”

So whatever kind of opening game your team has, you can look at things in several ways, and still come out of it as a winner.

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