The saddest of news emerged today when it was reported that Gary Speed, the Welsh football team manager, had been found hanged at his home early this morning. It appears that his death was a huge shock to his friends, one of whom, Robbie Savage, had been speaking to him yesterday and said that there was no sign of his intent.
Football mourned the former player’s passing at games held today and tributes from many who played and worked with him have been pouring in. He was a great player, taking the field for teams such as Leeds, Newcastle, Everton and Bolton Wanderers as well as making a record 85 appearances for his country, Wales, whom he recently went on to manage.
Of course there must be reasons for his action, but it beggars belief that such a successful professional sportsman should feel that the situation had become so intolerable that he could not go on. I am sure that I echo the thoughts of many, many fans, when I say that my thoughts and prayers are with his family and friends on such a sad day.
Watching Yes Speak on Sky Arts 1 tonight was brilliant. I’ve loved Yes since I was back in sixth form, just after the Romans left Britain, so watching the program caused the expected outpouring of memories. But it also brought back memories of 
Today has been a day of doing nothing. Well not exactly nothing, but no exercise or work, more rest and relaxation, making the most of a drab autumn day in Dorset.
Back on my own again, and time to think, to get everything in place and to take stock. Being alone isn’t all bad. It does give me the space for introspection and that is a very healthy thing. Having the peace and quiet to chant is also the perfect environment to put my thoughts in order.
I have a strange feeling of being in limbo, again. Whilst I enjoy having a visit from my friend, I always feel a sense of loss when it’s over. The worst bit being that it leaves me in a position of being unable to go back as well as being unable to move forward, so I’m stuck. I am also on holiday for the week, and although I can keep in touch with happenings in the office, my input is not required, so yet again, I feel like a fish out of water.
When you find yourself in a situation where you have to decide what happens next, you must be completely honest, with everyone concerned, including yourself. When that decision is possibly not what others expect or want, you must be compassionate when you announce it.
Birthdays are funny things aren’t they? When you are little, they are the best thing next to Christmas, you count down the days and they take ages to arrive.
Illusion about the true nature of existence is literally illusion about the nature of one’s own life. This is the fundamental source of all illusions.
The Search For Enlightenment 
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