Bite Your Tongue

30 Nov 2011 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , ,

Bite Your TongueSome situations just get stuck, they just refuse to offer a resolution, be that through indecision, lack of control or reluctance to move on.

Having the patience, with a person or situation, to see things through to their conclusion takes Wisdom, Courage and Compassion for the following reasons:

  • The Wisdom to see that the desired path is both achievable and the correct outcome.
  • The Courage to stick to your path, despite setbacks or obstacles.
  • The Compassion to see things from another’s viewpoint, whether it agrees with yours or not.

One big problem with being patient, is that you never know what the outcome will be until it’s happened. We shall see.

No Man’s Land

22 Nov 2011 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , ,

No Man's LandI have a strange feeling of being in limbo, again. Whilst I enjoy having a visit from my friend, I always feel a sense of loss when it’s over. The worst bit being that it leaves me in a position of being unable to go back as well as being unable to move forward, so I’m stuck. I am also on holiday for the week, and although I can keep in touch with happenings in the office, my input is not required, so yet again, I feel like a fish out of water.

So as I have said before, on several occasions, I have to be honest and make a decision that might not be well accepted by all concerned. It has to be the right decision, both for me now, and for the future. That might sound simple, but believe me, it isn’t. So I have to sit and chant, to get my head and heart in the right place, and then evaluate the situation in order to make a logical choice. I’m still not in that position, so I don’t know which way to go.

This Time

21 Nov 2011 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: ,

HonestyWhen you find yourself in a situation where you have to decide what happens next, you must be completely honest, with everyone concerned, including yourself. When that decision is possibly not what others expect or want, you must be compassionate when you announce it.

Of course you can hurt others if when your decision is contrary to theirs, but you will hurt them more by delaying or by going along with them, just to go with the flow. Eventually, your feelings will show and the result will only be more angst for all.

So when you feel that you have to make a decision that will be difficult for others to accept, make it quickly, announce it gently but firmly, and reduce the pain, to you and those affected, to the minimum.

Having made the decision you must stick to it. There can be no going back, and doing so only makes it worse for everyone concerned.

3rd Party Cover

20 Nov 2011 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , ,

Broken-HeartSometimes we become involved in other people’s problems, whether we want to be, or not. At times like this, Wisdom, Courage and Compassion are needed, but in a slightly different way than when we have problems of our own. I have needed to have the Wisdom to step back from the problem, and look at it in a dispassionate way.

The Courage to determine my feelings, from that detached viewpoint and the Compassion to offer help if required, knowing that your offer may well be rejected. Just be there, with an open heart and a calm mind. Too often,  people on the periphery feel the need to state their opinions, whether that helps the problem or not. These opinions may well be founded on sound principles and deeply held beliefs, but they are not help, they are just opinions.

If you find yourself in such a situation, you must be prepared to wait to be asked for your help. Staying detached, objective and silent, may be all the help you can offer at that time. Time is a great healer, often the only healing medium we have, so be prepared to extend your Wisdom, Courage and Compassion over the long term.

Minding The Baby

16 Nov 2011 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: ,

Minding The BabySo we removed the new software and the site stabilised somewhat, although it did still go down several times again today. As our support agreement with the developers doesn’t cover us 24-7 the team are taking turns to check the site throughout the night and do the necessary if it falters again.

This is a poor state of affairs in a world where 100% up-time is necessary for online commerce to survive, so it’s a necessary evil. It’s at a time like this, where everyone is under pressure to go that extra mile, that wisdom, courage and compassion are so vital. Whilst we are all miffed that we have to get up and check the site, we are all prepared to make the sacrifice in order to oil the wheels of industry.

Expect The Unexpected

14 Nov 2011 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , ,

Expect The UnexpectedYou know the feeling, you’ve had a great weekend, you’re rested, fresh and ready to face the new week, then wham, it all turns into an episode from Tales of the Unexpected. So it was today, the usual mountain of weekend orders to process, the usual banal questions from people who should know better, but we’re on top of it all, plain sailing and not a cloud in sight.

We have a new software release going in tomorrow. Today was going to be a day to confirm that everything was ship shape and Bristol fashion, then the power went down. I am old enough to remember the Three Day Week, from the last really serious economic crisis. People went without power for hours on end, just to save money and coal, and the Government was even less popular than it is today. The difference was, back then, your whole life didn’t depend on electricity.

So Ok, it was a nasty little blip, but it was back almost before we noticed it had gone. The lights dipped and everything in the office, that was plugged into the mains, went beep, all at once, in a terrifying harmony. Now PCs are pretty resilient these days. Time was that youmight even lose the contents of your hard drive, but not now. Servers on the other hand, even though they are backed up and connected to a UPS are just a little more fussy.

Even the IP phone system rebooted. But when it came back, it appeared that everyone and their uncle was testing it by ringing us. Of course the London office had no inkling that we had suffered the outage, so they just saw their email and back office systems fall on their face. Understandably they wanted to know why. But when you are at 100%, trying to get everything back up and running, the last thing you really need is Nanny McP calling to ask why her printer wasn’t working.

Anyway, it took about 30 minutes for the ripples to smooth and for the serenely calm atmosphere to permeate the office once more. Everyone was back online, the printers and back office systems were talking to each other again and all was again right with the world. But we know, we just know, that it will happen again. No matter what steps we take to ensure that everything survives, there will always be the chance that the unexpected is going to happen. So expect the unexpected, plan for it, bank on it happening. It’s life. Whether it’s a blip on the mains, or a blip in your dearest relationship, it will happen. So stay calm, rise to the challenge, use wisdom courage and compassion and soon you will be through it, better prepared to meet the next time, another day.

The Power Of Words

08 Nov 2011 2 Comments

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: ,

Bridge Over Troubled WaterI was watching the documentary about the famous duo Simon and Garfunkel tonight on imagine, and although it has been said many, many times before, Bridge Over Trouble Water is an amazing song. The documentary explored the development of the song, from a two verse gospel hymn, into the beautifully produced anthem it finally became. Although that was very interesting, and gave an insight into the way the duo worked together to produce the song and the album of the same name, nothing can compare to the power and simplicity of the lyrics.

Read them, then read them again, and see how they relate, in such a simple but powerful way, to the role of being there for someone who needs you …

Bridge Over Troubled Water
When you’re weary, feeling small
When tears are in your eyes,
I will dry them all
I’m on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can’t be found

Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

When you’re down and out
When you’re on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you
I’ll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around

Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

Sail on silver girl
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine
When you need a friend
I’m sailing right behind

Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind

Paul Simon, 1969

Enough said.

Stepping Out Of Your Comfort Zone

07 Nov 2011 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , ,

Defeat Your Dark PassengerChallenges we set ourselves can be easy, or they can be hard. Generally speaking, the challenges that are worth setting, take us well out of our comfort zone. So what is the secret of success in such a situation?

Well speaking from my own experience, it is all about confidence and determination. My weight loss ‘program’, if you can call it that, was set in motion through a determination to get into shape, both physically and in terms of my own self image. It’s easy to put off till tomorrow, that which you should start today, and to give in today, promising that you will put things right tomorrow.

Feelings like that are normal. It is our Fundamental Darkness talking us into wrong thoughts and deeds. The only weapon we have against it, and we all have those thoughts, is our determination to succeed. By imagining that our Dark Passenger,  as I prefer to call it, is actually something outside ourselves, we can mentally argue our case and through determination change our actions.

Yesterday’s ride, although no Tour de France, was by far the hardest ride I have undertaken in years. My Dark Passenger was coming up with all manner of reason for why I shouldn’t embark on the challenge. It’s too far, what happens if you get a puncture, worse still, what if you get to Swanage and are too tired to get back? Well I ignored his negativity, got on my bike, literally, and showed him that, given the confidence and determination, I could achieve my goal, and I enjoyed every second of it.

I have set myself some much tougher goals in that respect. I am, once the weather improves in the spring, going to cycle up to see Charlotte and Hannah in Bristol. That will be a journey of over seventy miles in one day, or one hundred and fifty miles if they send me packing and I ride straight back. I’m also going to take part in the Beach to Beach ride in aid of Asthma Research, from Bournemouth to Brighton, next May, so I need to push myself still further to help that good cause.

Success is sweet, failure is bitter and the only difference between the two is determination. Any goal, no matter how large or how small, is only unattainable if you lack the determination to go on. No cause is lost until you decide that it is lost. So ignore, or better still defeat your Fundamental Darkness, have confidence in yourself, be determined, and never, ever give up. In that way, you will always be a winner, will achieve your goals, and be forever tasting that sweet taste of success.

Unacceptable

05 Nov 2011 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , ,

Lest We ForgetMy Grandfather, George ‘Chalky’ White fought for his country in World War I. He fought the Turks at Gallipoli and was one of the few to survive. He was then posted to France to fight the Germans, to the Somme to be exact, where he was blown up, gassed and shot, but still he survived. In the manner of many of his generation, he never talked about what he did, or what he saw, but like all the men and women who offer their life in the service of their country, he was a hero.

At the eleventh hour, on the eleventh day, of the eleventh month, we stand in silence, to reflect on the sacrifice that these men and women made, and continue to make. We make this gesture once a year, come rain or shine, to show our gratitude. In Ypres, Belgium, at the Menin Gate, at 6pm every day, they close the road, stop the traffic and stand while the local fire brigade brass band play The Last Post.

The heroes and heroines deserve the recognition they receive, they made the ultimate sacrifice for their country. So to hear that FIFA has banned the England team from wearing a Poppy emblem on their shirts, in the friendly game against Spain next weekend, is nothing short of a disgrace. They claim that the Poppy emblem is a political statement. It is not, it is an symbol of respect, something FIFA know little about. For these trumped up little demi-gods to pontificate on such a matter is totally unacceptable. I implore the English FA and the players to ignore this ruling, and to stand up for our heroes, in this small way, as they have all done for us.

Anger In Buddhism

04 Nov 2011 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , ,

Become A Lion KingI think all of us are more than a little angry about the current injustices in our society. It appears, on the face of it, that the banking community has plunged the world into a state of turmoil, yet they are the first to be offered help to get out of the mess of their own making.

Nichiren Daishonin was never afraid to confront injustice. He spent a large part of his life in prison and exile because he was unafraid to voice his feelings about it and had this to say:

‘Each of you should summon up the courage of a lion king and never succumb to threats from anyone. The lion king fears no other beast, nor do it’s cubs. Slanderers are like barking foxes, but Nichiren’s followers are like roaring lion kings.’

So summon up your courage and roar at the injustice we are seeing right before our very eyes. We all understand that we will have to make sacrifices, but those sacrifices have to be borne by every individual according to the ability to survive having made them.

None of us want to reside in the lower world of anger, but turning that poison into medicine is the route to, not only solving the injustices in the world, but also the financial situation in which we find ourselves.

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