The story of my path to Buddhahood through the teachings of Nichiren Daishonin
20 Oct 2012 Leave a comment
in Buddhism Tags: Connections, Family, Happiness, Relationships, Sadness
Relationship problems are opportunities to grow and mature. Such problems can be character building if you don’t let them defeat you.
That’s why it’s important not to isolate yourself. No one can exist apart from others. Remaining aloof from others cultivates selfishness, which accomplishes nothing.
~ Daisaku Ikeda
10 Oct 2012 Leave a comment
in Buddhism Tags: Chanting, Family, Happiness, Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, Relationships, Sadness
Feelings change as we reflect on the causes for those feelings. Acting in haste, motivated by anger, disappointment or desperation will result in the causes of unwanted effects.
When you encounter a wall, you should tell yourself, “Since there is a wall here, a wide, open expanse must lie on the other side.”
Rather than becoming discouraged, know that encountering a wall is proof of the progress that you have made so far.
So here we are, encountering a wall, and striving with all our hearts to find a way to get to the other side.
08 Oct 2012 2 Comments
in Buddhism Tags: Challenges, Chanting, Happiness, Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, Relationships, Sadness, Self Awareness, Self Determination, Self Improvement
You may have gathered that the last few days and weeks have been a little challenging for me. It’s been a little difficult at work, though I’m happy to say that we seem to have worked through that.
But that hasn’t really been the most difficult issue. My relationship with Bridget, a relationship that had really seemed to be going so well, has struck the rocks in a major fashion, and has gone down with all hands.
It’s nobody’s fault, and although it is, and has been rather painful, in an odd sort of way, it feels strangely right that we go our separate ways. It may be that this is not the end of the story, but only time will tell. I really hope that her roller coaster ride evens out a little and that she will find happiness very soon.
So here I am, Anupadin, the one who tries to expound a daily gem of enlightening wisdom, having to call on my practice and my progress to make sense of it all. I have chanted about the past, the present and the future, but as you might expect, it’s going to be a work in progress for some time.
31 Jul 2012 2 Comments
in Buddhism Tags: Daimoku, Happiness, Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, Relationships, Self Awareness
I think I’m a pretty happy sort of chap, always joking around and generally enjoying life. But there are times when that just isn’t appropriate and the last couple of weeks have been such a time.
Being happy is actually a frame of mind. It is also a choice that we can all make, by seeing the glass as half full, rather than half empty. But the happiness of others can, and often does, have a very uplifting effect.
Understandably, Bumble has been very sad of late. That really isn’t how she usually is, every picture of her has her wearing a smile. So it was really nice to hear her in a happy mood. She’s back at work and life is slowly getting bearable again.
So my happiness tonight is more than partly down to her happiness. The happiness of others is important and is something we should try our best to promote. Using our wisdom, courage and compassion will go a long way to achieving that goal.
So next time, during diamoku, concentrate on praying for the happiness of someone you know who needs a bit of cheering up. Fill your lungs, chant your heart out and you too will feel your spirits lifted.
Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.
09 Jun 2012 Leave a comment
in Buddhism Tags: Freedom, Friendship, Relationships
Determined people of conviction, who stand alone, who pursue their chosen path. Not only are such people good and trustworthy friends themselves, but will also make genuine friends of others.
The bamboo groves of the autumn are gorgeous. Each bamboo tree stands independently, growing straight and tall towards the sky. Yet in the ground, way out of sight, their roots are interwoven and interconnected.
In the same way, true friendship is not a relationship based upon dependence, but one of individual independence. It is the enduring bond that connects self-reliant individuals, comrades who share the same commitment, on a spiritual plane.
21 May 2012 2 Comments
in Buddhism Tags: Guilt, Relationships, Responsibility, Sadness
Ever had that feeling, that even though you have done your very best, that it just isn’t good enough? Well I’ve been feeling that all day, partly because of the mess I’ve made of the Fraser’s website, but mainly because B missed her ferry by 10 minutes, after I helped her plan the route and timings for the journey.
So I’ve been giving myself a hard time today. Trying to figure out a way to repair the website and wondering what I can do to help Bumble, stuck in Cornwall. I’ve chanted for both, and I think that has brought clarity, but I’m still not in any position to fix either properly.
Being in a relationship, be that personal or working, brings with it responsibility, we all know that. But there are certain times, certain incidents, that bring home that sense of responsibility into sharper focus.
There is nothing I can do in the current situation, other than remain focussed and concentrate on avoiding future mistakes. I can also stop beating myself up, crying over spilled milk as it were, and look to the future and ways to make amends.
16 Apr 2012 Leave a comment
in Buddhism Tags: Challenges, Compassion, Determination, Honesty, Relationships
The title sums up my life right now, well not quite, but there’s a lot of both going on at the moment. Strangely, there’s a deal of similarity between the two in some ways. So you think I’ve been breathing in too many undercoat fumes lately? Ok, let me explain.
A new relationship is brilliant, it’s exciting, challenging and can occupy all your spare time. Renovation is rewarding, it’s exciting, challenging and can also occupy all your spare time. But let’s look at it a different way.
When you decide to renovate a property, you prioritise the projects and work through the rooms, one by one. There’s no point starting with the decor if the roof needs fixing, pretty dumb to install a new bathroom suite if the drains need sorting.
There are important milestones in the project. Roof sorted, electrics and plumbing finished, floors fixed, walls plastered. Then you decide on a certain room you want to concentrate on, and you live with the others until the important one is done, then you move to the next and the next and so on.
Say you sort out the kitchen, get it really nice, smart, efficient and install the appliances. You enjoy the fruits of your labour, but you wouldn’t give up on the renovation just because you got a glimpse of the lounge, or the bathroom. You go onto the next stage, deal with the problems and enjoy the progress as it comes along.
As relationships grow, mature, there are times when you discover aspects, core beliefs or character traits that test the strength of the bond at that point in time. That’s how relationships develop. You learn about each other, you agree about some things, you may have to compromise about others, it’s a learning process.
You learn about new aspects all the time. Together, you agree, you compromise or agree to disagree about them and so the relationship grows. But just like the renovation, you don’t give up on the whole project just because there is a little more work to be done in the next room. And just like renovations, the more effort you put in, the more satisfaction you get out of them.
11 Apr 2012 1 Comment
in Buddhism Tags: Happiness, Love, Relationships, Unconditional Love
Loving, and being loved is really great isn’t it? There is little to compare with the feeling one gets from being part of a loving relationship, but there are two types of love, unconditional and conditional. Unconditional love is about giving without limits, about being happy for the happiness of others. Conditional love, on the other hand, can be painful for both parties. Elements of jealousy, or the need to be loved in order to love, can lead the way to a painful end of the relationship.
Buddhism defines love as an action. It is that force that motivates people to become better, to improve themselves in order to reach eternity and happiness. Love brings out the best in people, as when they love, the target is not themselves but the beloved one. This wish to serve the other is a reflection of an innate knowledge that everyone is connected through the same principle, and therefore, it is an illusion to believe that one can achieve true happiness while those around haven’t attained it . So, love is the action that makes people forego their own ego and concentrate their efforts on the other in a search for fulfilment.
Personally, I have been criticised for suggesting that, if my partner would be happier with someone else, that I would not stand in their path. That feeling, I believe, shows that I love them unconditionally and, arguably, more than someone who wants to control or confine them. It does not mean that I want them to go, just that I want them to be happy, and that my happiness is found through their happiness.
Achieving unconditional love is hard. So many people feel that they need to be loved to be happy. In fact, the most happiness comes from loving another, and the need to be loved is often a sign of insecurity. Loving unconditionally requires a totally unselfish attitude to the other. Being happy when they are happy, being happy for them when they succeed, rather than feeling jealous of their success. Keeping those negative feelings in check requires constant effort, but the happiness gained from so doing is unbounded.
So take a look at your motives next time you tell that special someone that you love them. Will you still love them if that love is not reciprocated? Are you happy for them when they find pleasure in something that is of no interest to you? Would you sacrifice the relationship if that added to their happiness? If the answer to any of those questions is no, then you are not loving unconditionally.
It is not the end of things if you are not, there is always time to change. Loving everyone, in the broadest sense of the word, is a very rewarding way to lead your life. Being concerned for the happiness of someone who clearly has no time for you is tough. Going the extra mile to ensure that the happiness of another at the expense of yourself is not necessarily a natural thing to do, but the rewards for doing so are great indeed.
So next time you say ‘I love you’ to someone, try mentally tagging on ‘no matter what’ to that phrase and see how that makes you feel inside. If you can honestly say that it makes no difference to you saying it, then you have reached the state of unconditional love and that will reward you every time you say it.
06 Feb 2012 1 Comment
in Buddhism Tags: Love, Relationships, Strength
A shallow person will only ever have shallow relationships.
True love is not one person clinging to another, it can only be fostered between two strong people, secure in their individuality.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, author of The Little Prince, wrote in his work Wind, Sand and Stars, “Love is not two people gazing at each other, but two people looking ahead together in the same direction”
When we are fortunate enough to find someone we can love for whom they are, and who loves us for whom we are, then we are truly fortunate. Meeting that person, amongst the throng of humanity, is surely one of the most fortunate karmic effects we can experience.
01 Feb 2012 Leave a comment
in Buddhism Tags: Karma, Love, Relationships, Responsibility
Daily life can sometimes seem drab and unexciting. Living itself can often seem a strain, and a few of us unrealistically expect the joy we feel to last forever.
But when we fall in love, life seems filled with drama and excitement. We feel like the leading character in a film or a novel.
Sadly, if you find yourself lost in that love, because you become besotted or distracted, and consequently stray from the path to enlightenment, then love is nothing more than a form of escapism.
Whilst you must always be true to yourself, remember that you must also be responsible for each and every action.
The Search For Enlightenment 
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