Questioning Yourself

Questioning YourselfHaving confidence in yourself, in your faith, and in my case, my practice is often a comfortable place to be. But simply having someone else question that confidence can be a good thing at times, even though it might leave you questioning yourself.

When you find yourself being quizzed about aspects of your life, it is all too easy to become defensive, even annoyed by the questions. Who does this person think they are, putting my self confidence under the microscope?

But taking the time to think carefully about the questions, to see things from their point of view and to reflect upon what you see, is a good thing.

Of course it can make you question your own beliefs, about yourself, about the way things really are, and not just the way you see them. It can cause you to pull up short and may even make you realise that the situation is not quite the way you had imagined.

But it also gives you the opportunity to take stock and, where necessary, make changes to align your world view with the real world. Our own little universe is sometimes at odds with the way things really are, so if someone asks you awkward questions, don’t come out with all guns blazing, it may just be that they have a more realistic idea of the situation.

Cirque du Sunday

DIY was never meant to be like thisWhether it was the full on family evening on Friday and Saturday, too much fine food and wine, the unrelenting fun of being surrounded by loved ones, or just a combination of them all, we may never know. Suffice to say that by eight o’clock tonight, B and I were pooped.

It’s interesting to compare our viewpoints about the ‘productivity’ of our weekends. I guess we measure them using totally different scales. My scale measures fun, doing things with the family, children, grandchildren, pets etc. B’s scale measures the number of items remaining on the refurb to-do list.

Now it’s true to say that both scales return valid measurements, but comparing them is like comparing apples and aardvarks. Suffice to say, having spent most of the afternoon and evening fixing pictures, mirrors, smoke detectors and the like in their allotted places, I was keen to call it a day.

B, on the other hand, could only see the remaining list of tasks. To her eyes, the list just got longer and longer, and each weekend smacked of failure when the number of completed jobs failed to meet expectations. It was clear that my capitulation was not universally welcome. A compromise was urgently required.

A nutty little problem, that of re-hanging a pair of cupboard doors, handily placed over the stairs, was the subject of said compromise. B had ‘threatened’ to refit them herself, but in my eyes, that was far too dangerous. We had no ladder short enough to get into the house that would, once positioned, be long enough to reach the cupboard. A conundrum wrapped in an enigma.

I won’t go into too much detail, in an attempt to protect the squeamish, but the initial stages of the re-fit were accomplished using a combination of a step ladder, a chair and a motley selection of wooden battens. The task alone was simplicity itself, but the position of the cupboard made it nigh on impossible.

However, in an admirable partnership of trust, skill, strength and, may I say, not a little daring-do, we completed the job with B sitting on my shoulders, whilst I leant out over the stairs in a push-up like pose, on tip-toe on the top step and supporting us both with my hands on a cross beam under the cupboard. We could easily have been mistaken for an act from Cirque du Soleil, except for the lack of spandex and greasepaint.

So the cupboard is again complete, the task list has reduced by one, B is safe and sound and harmony has once again descended upon The Cottage. Compromise, dialogue and acceptance of another’s viewpoint are all the ingredients required for a peaceful outcome. It’s just a shame a few more international leaders don’t try it.

Super Soggy Sunday

Espresso With MarshmallowsEven the atrocious weather didn’t put a dampener on a lovely Sunday. The rain was coming down by the bucketful as B and I made our way to the Porto Lounge in Fishponds, but we managed to park nearby and didn’t get too wet getting to the cafe.

It was interesting to get a first hand account of how Charlotte and Hannah view the changes in me since becoming a Nichiren Buddhist. Being honest, I don’t like to think about the way I was before the ‘conversion’, but hearing their thoughts did put a slightly different slant on things.

Charlotte is the quieter and maybe more sensitive of the two, Hannah tells it like it is and doesn’t pull her punches. So it was a bit of an eye-opener to find that it is Hannah who is more prepared to see the changes at face value, with Charlotte letting time tell the true story.

Needless to say, we had a really nice time together, great relaxed atmosphere as always in the Porto Lounge and tasty food as usual. We did have a laugh at the reaction from the waiter, when he found that I was the one drinking the espresso with mini marshmallows. I guess that’s typically a bit more of a girlie drink, but I have to admit I do have a sweet tooth.

Anyway, it’s always nice to get together and talk, and it was good that Charlotte and Bridget got to meet, finally. Seeing the situation from other viewpoints is always good, as I keep saying, but I think we all had fun, even though Charlotte was tired and full of cold. And the DIY did get done in the afternoon too, so another fun and productive day. Just perfect.

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