Cheer The Folks Up !!!

14 Mar 2014 3 Comments

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , ,

Be Their Sunshine

Life is full of ups and downs, as we all know.

Little things can make friends and family members unhappy or even depressed, so make it your job to make them feel better.

There are so many people, so many lives on this planet, too numerous, in fact, to count.

From this great multitude, we wondrously find ourselves together with those in our families, as parents and children, as brothers and sisters, as husbands and wives.

If we do not live joyfully and cheerfully with whom we share this profound bond, what is life for?

Should the atmosphere at home be sombre, you can be the ‘sunshine’. By being a shining presence, you can cast the light of hope on your mother, father, children and indeed the whole family.

It’s That Day Again

13 Mar 2014 7 Comments

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , ,

My Nan, Charlotte and HannahMarch the thirteenth always stirs up the saddest of memories for me and for my family. It is exactly twenty two years ago today, that I lost the second most important lady in my life, my paternal grandmother. Just to make it even worse, if that were at all possible, ironically, March the thirteenth 1992 was a Friday, probably the worst Friday the thirteenth ever.

She was the most wonderful grandmother anyone could ever have had. She looked after me when I was very young, when my Mom was suffering from Tuberculosis, at a time when it was often fatal. She was a tweeny, a maid between stairs, in the days when real-life Upstairs, Downstairs or Downton Abbey was a lot less romantic that it is on TV today. She was married to my grandfather Walter, back when Wally wasn’t a derogatory name.

She lived in a council house in Erdington, Birmingham, never owned a car, never really had two pennies to rub together, but was dignified and always proud of the way she looked and the way she kept that house. I spent many, many happy school summer holidays there, and remember being spoiled rotten.

She made the best bread pudding in the world, always had tinned peaches or pears and trifle on the tea table and knitted me more school jumpers than I can count. We went on lots of holidays together as a family, but never once outside the UK, in fact she may never have been abroad in her whole life. She was never happier than when she had something to worry about, but she was always happy and full of love.

She was just wonderful, was always there for us and is greatly missed. It makes me happy to know that she is back in the world somewhere and I know she will be spreading love and light wherever she (or he) is. We miss and are thinking of you Nan.

Taking Back Control

25 Feb 2014 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , , ,

Taking Back ControlDo you ever find yourself getting into a state over a situation that is mainly in your own head?

If your world is not anchored by your faith and is dependant on factors outside your control, your imagination can run riot.

Our Fundamental Darkness, or my Dark Passenger, is a devious character and will use everything to get it’s way. Your imagination is one of it’s most powerful weapons.

This is how I was until I found Nichiren Buddhism, and it is a very precarious state in which to live. Each day can be up, or down, at the whim of something or someone else, and that’s no way to go through life, particularly if that something or someone cannot be relied upon. Everything, everyone changes over time, so basing your happiness on them is bound to fail, sooner or later.

Taking back control of your life is simple, it is a state of mind, a determination to re-centre, re-focus your life. That certainly doesn’t mean that you have to rid yourself of the something or someone, and it doesn’t mean that your relationship with them is any less important. It’s just that your life centres around something infinitely stable, and that can make all the difference in the world.

My anchor, my honzon is my practice, and I’m a better, calmer, more contented person for that. I am happier for that, and at the end of the day, isn’t that what we all seek from life, a little more happiness?

Just Wishing

24 Feb 2014 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , ,

Be Careful What You Wish ForSo many of us wish for things we would like, or wish to be things we aren’t. Short people wish they were taller, plump people wish they were thin, people with straight hair wish it was curly, people with curly hair wish it was straight.

Of course we are all ‘trained’ to want things from an early age, it’s a product of the consumerist society, and we are all urged to be dissatisfied with what we have, in favour of what the ad men can tempt us into buying.

But surely this way of going about things is a recipe for a certain degree of unhappiness. There are bound to be things we cannot have, maybe because it’s a physical impossibility, being taller when you are short, curly haired when your own is straight. So maybe there is a better way to look at things.

How about concentrating on the good aspects of our lives? You only have to take a few moments to think about it, and you will find that there are dozens, if not hundreds of things you are happy to have.

Maybe it’s your partner, family and friends. Maybe it’s good health, a decent job or even just having enough. So rather than thinking about the things you would like to have, take time to celebrate the things you already have, that are so precious to you, and things you would not like to live without.

And remember, you should always be careful about what you wish for. As a wise man once said, ‘Don’t wish for the stars, after all, where would you keep them all?’

Christmas Cheer

25 Dec 2013 2 Comments

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , , , ,

Christmas CheerWith families and friends gathering all over the world, to celebrate Christmas, it can be one of the loneliest days of the year for those who find themselves alone.

But rather than wallowing in that loneliness, you should set yourself a goal, and be determined, not to let the situation occur again this time next year. Make causes in the coming months to change the circumstances.

In one of his writings, renowned microbiologist René Dubos, stated. “History teaches that man without effort is sure to deteriorate; man cannot progress without effort, and man cannot be happy without effort.” This is indisputable.

You may be experiencing various hardships now, but because you continue to make efforts in the midst of those challenges, no matter how painful they are, you will definitely become happy. Effort and happiness are indivisible.

Who The Kutai

23 Nov 2013 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , , , ,

Dr WhoI saw the very first episode of Doctor Who, way back in November 1963, sitting on the sofa in my Nan and Grandad’s lounge at 50 Ryland Road, Erdington, Birmingham. Watching The Day Of The Doctor tonight was awesome, it was brilliantly written, performed and produced and brought many of the intervening years together in a very clever storyline.

The amazing thing is that the program also brought back memories and images from half a century ago. The whole family sitting around a black and white telly, watching William Hartnell, my Doctor, in a brand new series on the only BBC channel, BBC2 didn’t appear till 1967.

Such vivid memories. Only I could see them, but they were as real as were the original experiences. So they exist and they don’t exist all at the same time, and Nichiren Buddhism calls this Ku, short for Kutai. All they need are the right conditions to become manifest, in exactly the same way our own potential does.

The human brain is an amazing thing. On the one hand I can remember people and events from fifty years and more ago. On the other, I can walk from the lounge into the kitchen and forget why I went in the first place, and I know we’ve all been there.

Amazing stuff that grey matter, a hugely complex system of neurons and synapses awash in a cocktail of serotonin, dopamine and countless other magical neurotransmitters, all busy doing their own thing, but all in sync. And all it needs, to switch on some memory buried deep in time, is a handful of images or a series of electronic notes in a particular sequence.

Take Responsibility

22 Nov 2013 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , , , ,

All those responsible, put your hands upSometimes we find ourselves in difficult or disappointing circumstances, and might believe that they are not of our making. The laws of Karma are universal, we get what we deserve, so whether we recognise the causes or not, the effects speak for themselves.

We might feel sorry for ourselves, we may think it’s unfair, but we make the causes for the effects we experience day in, day out. Now you may be saying that it’s destiny, fate, or coincidence, but that simply means you are delegating responsibility for your life to chance or a mystical figure whose existence can never be proven.

Why do we allow ourselves to be fooled? When we know the reason for events, we accept the situation and move on. When we don’t know, or remember why something has happened, we waft it away with airy fairy excuses, like fate or God’s will.

I’ve been through the mill at various times in life. Failed relationships, jobs losses, illness and  even death in the family. More than enough to make me feel, at times, that enough is enough. But when I sit and think things through, at the bottom of every disaster, there is, at least in part, a cause of my own making.

So I have to be the first to hold my hand up, I’m culpable, in part at the very least, and my chanting, prayer and meditation are the tools I use to put things right.

You might be sitting there thinking this doesn’t apply in your case, but you are wrong. You are where you are at this very second, as a result of all the decisions and actions you have taken up to this moment. Accept your responsibility and start making your own causes to get the effects you would like to see. If you don’t, you have nobody else to blame if things refuse to improve.

They Shall Grow Not Old, As We That Are Left Grow Old

11 Nov 2013 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , ,

I can’t remember the first time I watched the Service of Remembrance on TV, but it must be well over fifty years ago now. It has always been a family event, with my Mom and Dad and my brothers. And although, sadly, my Dad is no longer with us, and the family is spread across the globe, watching it again brought back poignant memories, as always.

I find it very moving, watching the petals falling on the servicemen and women, and although I have never known anyone killed in the service of our country, I feel a certain duty to watch the service.

The people in whose honour the service is held, gave the ultimate sacrifice so that we could live in peace and freedom.

  They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
  Age shall not weary them, nor the years contemn.
  At the going down of the sun and in the morning
  We will remember them.

Always There 4 Us

25 Oct 2013 Leave a comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , ,

I Love My MomDoes it sound a bit sad to say that my Mom is my best friend? I don’t think anyone would describe me as a mommy’s boy, but speaking to her virtually every day, shows me that she is just that, my very best friend.

We have a similar outlook on life, albeit that we are a generation apart, and the changes in life between those two generations are vast. She doesn’t always agree with the things I say or do, and will tell me so, but she doesn’t tell me what to do, or how to live my life either.

She has always been there when I have needed support, and that is true for my brothers too. She tells me that I am her golden boy, but I’m sure she says the same to the other two too. She always tries to see both sides of a situation, and puts her point across with wisdom, courage and compassion. We always know where we stand, and we know that she will always stand by us in times of trouble.

So yes, my Mom is my best friend, and I feel very fortunate to be in that position. As someone who has lost her best friend in this lifetime, namely my father, I would like to think that I can, in some small way, reciprocate, and be her best friend now, in his absence.

If it wasn’t for the fact that she is a committed Methodist Christian, she would make a marvellous Buddhist. We talk about the differences between our beliefs, though neither of us would try to impose those beliefs on the other. We both take comfort from the other having a faith on which to base their life. I love you Mom, thank you for always being there, and I hope I can support you in any less happy times as much as you have supported me when I have needed it.

Boys, Boys, Boys

12 Oct 2013 1 Comment

by Anupadin in Buddhism Tags: , , , , , ,

Boys, Boys, BoysSpending time with my grandsons is blooming hard work, and absolutely brilliant at the same time. Talk about a barrel load of monkeys, even Oliver, the two year old, run on some form of perpetual motion engine. They just don’t stop, which is awful and wonderful at the same time.

I really don’t see enough of the boys. Partly because of the geographical separation and partly because as families, they are always doing something, going somewhere, busy, busy, busy. The trouble is, they don’t stop growing, maturing, learning, simply because I’m not around. So when I do get to see them, they are almost different, although lovely, little people.

So this morning was a real pleasure. Watching the boys interact with each other, while we watched Ice Age for the Nth time and blew up balloons for Rob’s 40th birthday party this evening, was great fun. Letting the balloons go flying around the room, scattering boys in all directions, caused much amusement, even though some of them got a bit soaked in spittle after a while.

The morning flew by and all the exertion was a bit too much for Ollie, who went off to bed for a nap. The east of us continued the fun until Charlotte and Rob returned and set about making lunch for the assembled throng. I’m making silent promises to myself to be back up here very soon. Jake will be 8 in a few days time, then it will be Christmas, so there are lots of reasons to return, it just takes a bit of arranging.

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