The Search For Enlightenment

When we find ourselves in stressful situations, we often find ourselves acting in ways which are both damaging and unhelpful. When relationships hit problems our hearts may rule our heads and we may find we do not recognise ourselves in the way we react.

Fortunately I am not talking of my own situation, rather that of a very close friend, but the signs are all evident. In the same way as we are unable to see our own eyelashes, because they are too close, my friend cannot see these signs, because they are too close to the situation.

From a Buddhist viewpoint, we may see these situations as a chance to learn, to turn poison into medicine. As Sensei says …

“Relationship problems are opportunities to grow and mature. Such problems can be character building if you don’t let them defeat you. That’s why it’s important not to isolate yourself. No one can exist apart from others. Remaining aloof from others cultivates selfishness, which accomplishes nothing.”

I know from experience that it is often easier to offer advice than to accept it. Offering advice, when it is not being accepted, requires a lot of wisdom, courage and compassion. But that is no excuse to throw in the towel. I will continue to ‘be there’ for my friend, listening when needed, being subjective, though supportive and chanting for the wisdom to offer advice to help them resolve their situation.

I think my initial advice should be, be true to your heart, be yourself and try, where possible, to see the bigger picture. Easy to say, not so easy to do, but well worth trying.